` c on t e n t .

2011-09-29T12:33:00.002+08:00

i have written 5 posts since the start of this year. :/ blogging regularly was definitely not part of my 2011 resolutions.

anyways, it's my free day of the week! from school that is. and i'm beginning to feel that one day is not enoughhhh. :( i'm in the midst of my mid-terms week. well, more accurately, i have 1 more last paper to go tmr, and i've done 2 papers earlier this week already. tmr is a soci paper on childhood and youth, and it requires one of the essays to have references to photos of our childhood or that can link to concepts and ideas we've covered in the module thus far. hence my search dive into the computer, photo albums and facebook for photos that i can use. and it's draining my my brain juice. :( do you all know i don't like writing essays?

it's also the beginning of school exams! as in primary and secondary school exams that is. and being an undergrad tuition teacher, i feel like i'm taking psle/n levels/EOY exams too. my recess week last week was gone into studying for my own tests, and giving extra tuition lessons. :( can't wait for 2-3 weeks later! hopefully i can have a break in november.

on the bright sideeee, it's coming to october! (:

2011-08-03T16:18:00.002+08:00

i am boreddd.
haha i think its a really strange thing. when i was having attachment, i was so longing just for a day when i could just stay at home the whole day and nuah. but i never did that because the free days/nights that i had were too precious to be spent wasting like that. and nowww, i have about a week of doing nothing before school starts, and i'm bored already! mmm. suddenly feels like the people i could call to go out or nuah with kind of shrank. everyone's growing up and being busy!

sooo. i have decided to revive and bring back this little list call the things i wanted to do. updated!

nonsense i will do one day:

1. ~~Marina Barrage~~
2. ~~Fort Canning~~
3. ~~Changi Airport viewing galleries~~
4. Sungei Boloh(?)
5. ~~Punggol beach~~ All the beaches in Singapore
6. A cruise
7. ~~Marina Bay Sands~~
8. Haw Par Villa

9. Fly kite
10. ~~Make cheesecake~~
11. Make mooncake
12. Watch movies: ~~Star Wars~~, Matrix, ~~Harry Potter~~, ~~Inception~~, ~~LOTR~~, Narnia...
13. Make pizza
14. Go fishing on a boat
15. Sunrise at east coast, and sunset at west coast
16. Learn photoshop
17. Design my own cake at icing room
18. Make log cake for Christmas
19. ~~Meatballs and daim cake at ikea~~
20. Make sushi
21. ~~Eat durian things at four seasons durian~~

22. ~~visit the National Museum, Pompeii exhibition~~
23. ~~Science Centre for the CSI exhibition~~
24. take the cable car to Sentosa
25. exploring Punggol
26. Merlion at Sentosa

okay with that done...
i shall go find something to eat. which is kind of what i've been doing alot when i'm bored. :(
i'm undoing all the stair-climbing i did at placement!!

2011-07-23T15:06:00.003+08:00

hello! it's been a super long while since i've last blogged. been busy with school and exams, then attachment, and now i'm supposed to be busy with my attachment paper due in 2 weeks. yups, so a quick one.

i've never been one to really write regularly on this blog, so i've adopted the 'pictures speak a thousand words' stand. i'm sure it has something to do with my boyfriend's influence. (:

haha okay not many pictures...because i've been a very unfortunate victim to being locked/hacked out of my hotmail and fb account. haha yes, so going through the long process of making friends again.

on the last day of attachment! with the onco team that i've been blessed with to do my 10 weeks of learning. really nice people!

and i like this picture! just because. (:

2011-04-12T00:00:00.009+08:00

hello havent been blogging in a really long while. haha and it's now week 13 into school and exams are in 2 weeks. i think i quite like this sem. maybe not so much the timetable and the crazy submissions that all fall on the same week, but more of the stuff that i'm learning and doing in school. yup, lectures are still not as exciting as blogshopping, but at least they are of substantially enough interest as compared to like, community work last term. horrible.

after exams it's attachment time again. :( i don't know to be happy and excited or just sian, cos its like another holiday gone. but i'm going into the hospital setting, so hopefully that's going to be interesting and exciting. and hopefully i get a supervisor all to myself haha.

okay some stuff to explain my recent whereabouts....not really actually haha. just some random photos off my phone. (:

shermin and mel being nonsense with my phone. "i want contact picture!"

the couple of times to timbre, not just @ old school.

new cell! haha having fun at combined cell event. i think we're meshing well. i think.

tim's 17th, and our maiden trip to the icing room and cake decoration. turned out to be a mess lor.

HAHA no comments. (:

okay until another long while! hahaha.

2011-04-05T00:12:00.002+08:00

You are here in our midst
How we've waited for moments like this
Have Your way in this place
Holy Spirit come do as you wish
We are changed as You move in our midst

You are here among us
For we have gathered in Your Name
We can feel Your presence in this place
You are here among us
You are enthroned upon Your praise
You are here
Here to heal and here to save

-'You are here' by Don Moen

2011-01-10T11:59:00.003+08:00

my first post of the 2011! like 10 days after the new year haha. well, blogging regularly has never been my strong point. :p

okay. new year, new resolutions. i think i've never been one to make resolutions. because i know i'll never keep them. so hardddddd. i shall do quarterly resolutions instead haha.

do you resolute to do something, or do you resolve?
then why resolutions and not resolvations?
.

.

.

.

.

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haha okay, life and death questions aside. i think this year will be a good one. (: mmm just like how i always say the same thing each year i think.

school starts in 2 hours! :(

2010-12-27T00:52:00.003+08:00

haha. i meant to take a photo of the flowers like, a long time ago but i forgot, so it's looking a little off colour oops. ohh do you know a carebear can't sit upright by itself? super unstable. i think its cos its head is like the same size as its body. affects the center of gravity.

okay, carebear wishes everyone a happy christmas! (:

speaking of which...christmas is over which means the year is coming to an end. :( very siannnnn. haha. i've decided to update my one-day list to see how accomplished i've been this holidays:

nonsense i will do one day:

1. ~~Marina Barrage~~
2. ~~Fort Canning~~
3. Changi Airport viewing galleries
4. Sungei Boloh(?)
5. ~~Punggol beach~~ All the beaches in Singapore
6. A cruise
7. ~~Marina Bay Sands~~
8. Haw Par Villa

9. Fly kite
10. ~~Make cheesecake~~
11. Make mooncake
12. Watch movies: Star Wars, Matrix, Harry Potter, ~~Inception~~, ~~LOTR~~, Narnia...
13. Make pizza
14. Go fishing on a boat
15. Sunrise at east coast, and sunset at west coast
16. Learn photoshop
17. Design my own cake at icing room
18. Make log cake for Christmas
19. ~~Meatballs and daim cake at ikea~~
20. Make sushi
21. ~~Eat durian things at four seasons durian~~

and i've decided to add some more stuff on the list...

22. visit the National Museum, Pompeii exhibition
23. Science Centre for the CSI exhibition
24. take the cable car to Sentosa
25. exploring Punggol
26. Merlion at Sentosa

haiyo at this rate i'll never complete my list haha!

2010-11-13T22:44:00.003+08:00

i'm here! for the lack of anything else to do, and the fact that i'm supposed to be doing my report/reflection paper/studying/any other work than blogging and whatever i've been doing the past half hour. rahhh. i'm restless. i've spent the afternoon and evening doing work. it sounds really accomplishing, but really, i don't feel very accomplished at all. i think its one thing to know that you have work to do and less time to finish it, and another to actually sit and do it.

have i ever mentioned that i hate writing reflection papers? and because social work is such a reflective practice, impacting and people and changing lives and all that, so its like essential that we always reflect to what we did/experienced/read. all under the category of knowing oneself before you can effectively help others. anyway, so i'm here, trying to write my reflection paper. and it's not a paper like i felt sad because of this this this like how you write in a diary, but its supposed to be a substantial paper with references and everything. haha, quote myself.

and because i've been here squeezing brain juices to make sentences sound complex and uni-worthy...i've been eating. like constantly. terrible terrible terrible. see, studying and writing papers are not good for you.

2010-10-15T11:29:00.001+08:00

i have just discovered that all my modules this sem are open-book exams.
trying to decide if its a good thing.

(:

2010-10-05T12:56:00.004+08:00

my one-day list. :D
so many places to go and things to do!

nonsense i will do one day:

1. Marina Barrage
2. Fort Canning
3. Changi Airport viewing galleries
4. Sungei Boloh(?)
5. Punggol beach
6. A cruise
7. Marina Bay Sands
8. Haw Par Villa

9. Fly kite
10. Make cheesecake
11. Make mooncake
12. Watch movies: Star Wars, Matrix, Harry Potter, Inception, LOTR, Narina...
13. Make pizza
14. Go fishing on a boat
15. Sunrise at east coast, and sunset at west coast
16. Learn photoshop
17. Design my own cake at icing room
18. Make log cake for Christmas
19. Meatballs and daim cake at ikea
20. Make sushi
21. Eat durian things at four seasons durian

haha. (:

2010-10-04T21:27:00.001+08:00

He makes all things beautiful in His time

2010-09-10T02:15:00.002+08:00

¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

psalm 139.
i think it's important that we don't lose faith and hope that He knows our every moment and every thought, and knows our whole lives even before we live it.

2010-09-09T01:55:00.001+08:00

I found forgiveness I found grace
All condemnation You've erased
Taking my death, and giving me life
I have been justified

- Justified by Point of Grace.

2010-08-30T22:50:00.004+08:00

i was greeted by this conversation when i came online today:

10:23:09 PM David Lau: rachel
10:23:10 PM David Lau: i very sad

i thought like, oops maybe his prelims were terrible or something, but nooo.he says:

10:23:19 PM David Lau: my maple account got hacked

10:23:30 PM David Lau: eh dont laugh
10:23:37 PM David Lau: im gonna bawwwwwllll anytime ok!!!!!!!
10:23:54 PM David Lau: soooooooo sadddddddd

haha. he's so cute la. can you believe he's gonna be 18 this year? haha i'll never forget the look on his face when we asked him if he ever thought of getting married. "Huh, have to see the same girl for the rest of my life!!"

haha such a laugh. (:

on a separate note, i haven't started on the paper that i intended to do today. :(
shall try again tmr haha.

haha now its purple or blue or pink?
haha. don't really like pink roses although i love pinky stuff. but i think cos pink roses are too common.

2010-08-30T01:00:00.004+08:00

i have obviously been neglecting this space. then again, i don't blog very regularly.

as you know, i love blue roses.

but now i'm wondering, maybe purple roses are nicer.

haha maybe it's cos i've received and seen many blue roses already, so the novelty of it kinda wore off. but i haven't seen a purple rose yet!

a simple conversation can stir up quite a lot of memories and feelings. i guess you can never really hide from it in the first place la haha.

blue rose or purple rose?

anyway, started school 3 weeks ago. i have hiong weeks every alternate week, cos all my tutorials are on the odd weeks. haha but even then i think its not that hiong la. most of the days are just like going to school for a lecture and a tutorial and i'm done. i think i like short days, you don't feel so sian or dread the long day of the week. haha and i think i can't take in any lectures/classes beyond 4pm.

You discern my going out and my lying down, You are familiar with all my ways.

psalm 139 has been kind of rolling around my head the past couple of days. i think i like this psalm. :D

2010-08-04T01:42:00.003+08:00

I will believe You are strong enough
In my weakness, God be lifted up
And I will sing, lift Your praises high
Lord be magnified, You make all things new
I will believe

- Believe by Hillsong

i think i like this new album, beautiful exchange. usually the recent albums have taken time to grow on me, but i think i liked this one immediately. maybe because it's alot quieter than i expected it to be...partly cos the recent albums i've been hearing were United ones. haha, i guess i'm growing old then. :p

went down to techman the other day a few weeks ago. i realised that i like shopping for everything except clothes. haha. maybe cos other stuff don't really matter in the sense that it looks as good on the shelf in the store and when you purchase it. not like clothes.

crash bang and burn.
maybe a crash landing every once in a while is necessary. can't possibly be a happy thing all the time, yes?

2010-07-21T20:33:00.002+08:00

worship is a huge component in my life. maybe it's cos i've kind of grown up in the minstry. but i think if i was not in the ministry, i would not have learnt a lot of things. i love how lyrics can just jump of of the paper at times, and strike you hard. i love how you can be plugged into the ipod such that the music kind of becomes background music, until a certain part of a song just grabs your attention. i love how i can be in the toilet and a song just rolls around in my head. i'm certainly not the type of person who can sit still and absorb an entire sermon. or lecture as a matter of fact. i feel that i learn more about His word and His promises for me from songs. and it's so cool to see song lyrics appear as verses in the bible. don't seem to have that often nowadays though. i think i'm just super inclined to music. but not just any music, but particularly music in a worship band. i can sit at home and sing along to cds the whole day. during camp, i felt that i could go on for hours singing and praising Him. i think that's my dream job. to just sing worship songs to Him. what a life! haha. i should just die now, since that's what we'll be doing in heaven. :p

2010-07-09T23:48:00.004+08:00

one more week of attachment left! haha countdown. it's not that i don't like where i'm working at. the people there are really nice and i think i'll miss them. and the kids are adorable in their own way, although most of the times they dont want to listen to you. but i think i'll definitely miss them. haha but it's the waking up early in the morning and squeezing with the peak hour human traffic that makes it horrible. and the fact that i cant plan my weekdays cos the days are burnt working and there's so little playtime!

i think i should stop going around to different places. cos each time i feel the urge to volunteer or something so as to keep the contact. cos i'll feel really bad if i dont. especially since i've been seeing them like everyday for the past 3 months. but i've got to learn to say no, cos i only have 24hours in a day, 7 days in a week!

anyway, germany lost and is out of the world cup! :((((
let's all have a minute of silence and a day of mourning.
and eat tako pachi.

2010-06-30T00:41:00.003+08:00

it's nearly 1am and i have to be up at 7.30 tmr to go to work and yet i'm still blogging. the thing about work that makes it really sian is that your play time is really short, no matter how long you try and stretch it. its like you're really free and happy at 6pm, and then you slowly feel your hours of freedom slipping away. my free nights are really precious to me now, especially since 4 out of 5 of the the weekday nights are spent either in church or tuition.

yurong was dropped me home just now, and the whole journey back was spent talking about THE meeting and the rationale and points of view. and much as i'm against the whole idea and try and fight it and feel like slapping everyone else, i also had this constant nagging in my head that we're all children of God, one church, one body. and God must be really sad that things are like this and such feelings are felt. i don't know. much as my human nature screams to rebel, there's this other more mature voice saying to calm down. i dont know, i guess i'm just upset that we don't see eye to eye. cos i'm a person that likes to feel assured in love. and have world peace. haha.

I love You
All of my hope is in You
Jesus Christ, take my life
Take all of me

so anyway, this song keep playing in my head after that. could be cos we spent a good part of the practice just now doing this song. but i realised that its quite a hard song to sing and mean it. but i want to try. which means i'll go for the meeting with His grace that i'll be neutral and open, and with His love that i'll not harbour negative feelings about this whole issue. take all of me.

on a separate note, i'm still struggling with my giant. it's so hard to not try and take matters into my own hands. to 'create' my future.

patience, trust and faith.

2010-06-26T00:46:00.004+08:00

haha i'm finally back to blog cos i'm finally done with the busiest week of my attachment period! mmm the past couple of weeks have been pretty crazy and hectic, but God has been good :D

youth camp was awesome. i was really reminded on His faithfulness and love for me la. haha and i realised that if my job was singing worship songs, i'll gladly go to work every day. the feeling you get when you worship Him is just indescribable. also want to thank God for yet another milestone in my christian walk with Him, something to remind me and give me that boost to run the race. and for the opportunity to mix around with other corps people! haha. now pple cannot say central pple very dao ahh. i'm really glad that alot of us went, and i believe God has personally touched each one of us. only His touch can do something so amazing.

coming back from camp and going back to work was just anti climax haha. that friday i had a pre-groupwork outing with the youths to ecp for cycling. haha the beginning part was horrible! i was so stressed i cried. haha. but i was really blessed and touched by the youths who went eventually. they continued on unaffected, and i think i drew most of my strength and happiness for the rest of the day from them. they're so cute la really.

this week was just BUSY. super. there was a lot of last minute prep that needed to be done for the groupwork. i was stressed again and i nearly cried again haha. but i think it was more from the willingness of the rest of the staff in helping me prepare for it that i was so touched. and God is really amazing and so so faithful. He provided the youths who willingly came for the groupwork even though it was their day to play wii games. He gave me the words to say and the ideas to engage the youths. looking back at the past 3 days, i really wonder how i actually managed to say what i said. haha. i'm so high today because basically the hard part of my attachment is more or less over. and i think i did okay and well. (:

with all that being said, i still can't wait for my attachment to end. oh to sleep in till 12 noon!!!

i'm amazed at how great and awesome God is. He's cleary working in the youth group, and i'm getting excited at what's going to happen. although it's not really obvious, but i think our youth group is growing. and its not about the numbers. i think we've come some way in terms of bonding and maturing. haha and its so cool how He's raising up the youths.

You're greater than my yesterdays
You hold me close today
You're the Lord of my tomorrows
- Mercy by Casting Crowns

2010-06-07T21:01:00.002+08:00

did you know...

that the audio sound on a mac comes out from under the keyboard???

=O

.

.

.

so cool right?

haha i didn't know!

2010-05-24T22:54:00.005+08:00

i didn't intend to come online tonight. Ever since i started attachment, i've probably eaten dinner at home at an average of once a week. cos work ends at 6, on two of my weekday nights are spent on tuition, and another two in church. and by the time i get home, i bathe, read awhile, and go to sleep.

BUT, i realised that i needed to send minjie the photo he has been chasing for the yog thingy. so i came online intending to send it and go off. but you know, email checking is addictive. and totally the wrong move if you don't want to spend a long time online. haha. emails lead to facebook which leads to games and leads to blogs. haha, actually i decided to go visit blogs cos i havent been visiting for sometime. and then i decided that i should blog too. so here it is.

pictures of the day(s)...

haha, if you can't already tell, we were trying to pull off that 'tv season' official photoshoot shot. haha you know, the kind they get the actors to all sit/stand/pose in some really cool way and they take a season photoshoot. i think only the last one looks the closest though. haha i was inspired to put up these random pics after saturday's band bbq at jolene's place where we tried to pull it off at the playground. didn't work, haha.

holding on...to what, exactly?
perhaps i was too idealistic then.

2010-05-10T00:13:00.003+08:00

random pic of the day!

haha. i think this was the best pic of our us trip. (:
aaron perfected the art of zi pai-ing for all of us. after many failed attempts. haha i think tim wanted to die from taking and taking and taking photos. but after that, all our group shots from then one was basically in this same position haha. i like the way the tower sticks out behind us. like in a very artsy angle. and this was taken at some university that we visit, not exactly a very significant place.

i'm starting my attachment in like another 8 hours, and i'm still here blogging! sigh, the more i think of it, the more sian i feel. :(

can never underestimate the power of physical presence.
i'm wavering.

2010-05-07T01:27:00.005+08:00

NOT STUDYING ANYMORE...

haha. happy girl! :D

i tried to think back to the last fight/argument i ever had with anyone. and you know, i really can't think/remember of any. i mean, yeah there have been times when i was upset and angry and grumpy, but all of those times were more or less over small trivial things that somehow just irritated me when i'm moody and at that time of the month. but i really can't remember a time when i argued with someone about a certain view or value or belief. i don't know if it's because i don't really stand firm on the values i belief in, or just that i'm peace-loving. aha. i know most of the time if i don't agree with something, i'll say my opinion, and then add something like, "but that's just my view la." and then we'll usually just shrug it off and move on to other topics of conversation. mmm. i think there are certain values and beliefs that i do hold quite firmly onto, but i guess i've never really had someone whom i really wanted them to share the same value and belief as me such that i'll argue to get my point across. i think most of the time i'm more like, it's okay, you're entitled to your own opinion.

i guess in some sense, i'm fortunate and...blessed? in that i don't see the need for people to agree with me. but in some way, i guess that's not really good also. err, yeah. so like, it's not really a challenge for me to work with people i guess haha. i think God challenges me in a different way. i think i'm a very complex person. complex and confused haha. like, i really do care about what people think of me actually, but yet. i don't just agree with people all the time either. at least, i don't think i do haha. i think i don't know myself very well.

oh well. just some thoughts rolling around in my head. roll roll roll your boat.

exams are over! i just started my holidays today, and tomorrow will be my last day of holidays, if you don't count the weekends :( haha. i start my placement on monday. i'm...ambivalent about it actually. like, i first thought it'll be so fun and exciting. BUT. now i know i need to write a report at the end of it, and attend classes in school too. like special sem laa. plus going on attachment is like having a job, meaning that my days are gone! mmm. okay la, i shall cheer myself up. at least for the next two years i can just take 4 modules per sem. (:

i think it's very easy for things that you do often for a long time to become routine and 'responsibilities'. i don't want to lose the passion.
i want to be a warrior!

a couple of things still left hanging in the air unsolved. can only wait i guess. haha. life isn't perfect, but i shall choose to be contented with what i have. :D
haha. i like the triangle analogy.

2010-04-22T21:49:00.004+08:00

STUDYING...

haha!
.
.
.
.
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okay stop wasting time.
photo thanks to minghui! (:
paparazzi.

2010-04-19T21:54:00.005+08:00

i've been meaning to blog for some time now, but every time i come to the new post page, i cant remember what i want to blog about anymore. haha getting old.

it's reading week this week. so i'm supposed to be reading. which i'm so obviously not. but still, thank God that i don't have that many readings to do this sem. plus, i finished all my singapore module readings, yay!

haha good friday. it's really that long since i blogged eh. mmm, good friday was well, good. aha. it was fun la. and i think we were all kind of freaked out by the mass of people that came. we of little faith haha. okay, next event we'll be prepared for 500! (: i think everything went quite well and smooth, considering we didn't actually do a real run-through from one song to the next. the skit was really good too!

got back quite a few assignments and papers before school closed last week. and i'm glad that i haven't received anything discouraging yet. hopefully i can pull up my cap this sem, even if its just a tiny weeny bit.

went for ac band concert last sunday. i'm quite impressed by them honestly, haha. proud too. after the concert we went for dinner with the juniors. if was like a j1-j4 gathering haha. it was so fun...really missed those times we had back in ac band. haven't got any photos from junhann yet, will update (hopefully!) when i get them.

i liked last friday's worship. haha i think i liked the 'simplicity' of it all, although i think guanyou was playing funny things which were not simple at all. but i think the two guitars went quite well together. it sounded...pure. i like.

okay should really be studying, or at least reading.

i don't like to study :(

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6,7

2010-03-21T21:30:00.002+08:00

i've been staring at my marketing notes and the individual assignment case notes for the past hour, and so far i've only written about 300+ words. i think that i've been given the hardest individual assignment yet, cos this actually requires thinking and econs knowledge, and not just common sense. or either that i don't have any common sense.

depressing. i DO NOT LIKE writing papers. as much as i do not like carrots.

but on a lighter note, i think i have a fairly small amount of essays/papers to do this sem. this marketing thing is my first individual paper of the sem, and i have only a reflection paper and a social report left to do by myself. any other assignments are due as a group. i like group work. haha i think i've been blessed with good and nice and fun members in my groups thus far.

my secondary school friends and i had a gathering at bryan's place last night. and i just think its so weird and strange how we've all grown up. we first met each other when we were like, 13. and now we're hitting the big two-zero. and reminiscing the good old secondary school days. i think its just amazing that such a strange and different mix of pple can still get together and talk and laugh, like as if we've never left and gone our separate ways.

march is ending and soon it'll be april, then may. june. july...
i think it's funny how time seems to just go by more quickly as you get older. i remember when i was younger i felt that a year was sooooo long. it felt like forever to get from one level to the next. and while i still think one year is pretty long (it's two sems!), i think time goes by faster than it did when i was a kid.

Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

the simple things that can just make your day. :D

2010-03-14T00:39:00.002+08:00

i have things to do and work to be done and i'm bejewelling. sigh. it's going to be a long long three weeks yet to come. haha i think i've complained and whined about it to everyone who had the fortunate opportunity to spend time with me. work work work. i don't like studying. :(

i want to invent a car bumper sticker. it will say, 'the closer you come, the slower i'll drive.'

the occasional moments.

2010-02-24T22:08:00.002+08:00

I went back to haven today. couple of reasons la, mainly because i haven't been back for a while and i miss the kids. (: haha going back there made me kind of miss working there too. going around during study time and nagging at them to do their homework/assessment and stuff. it's great to see the kids again. haha cos it feels so long since i was back, it felt like everyone grew up by alot. although technically its been about half a year since i stopped working. but it was fun la. didn't get a chance to really sit down and talk with the kids for long though. hopefully i might get some chance when i go down to volunteer to give them tuition. haha finally this sem i found the time. i think i'm just really grateful and thankful that God gave me such a passion and interest for kids and youth. i think it kind of made the whole 'what-should-i-do-with-my-life' simpler and easier to decide. and much as they all teach you in the social module that it should be all about the clients and not yourself, i think the satisfaction in helping someone or knowing that you've helped someone just attracts me. and i figure, if i can help a kid reason out things and help him/her, and at the same time feel the satisfaction for myself...isn't that a win-win situation?

2010-02-17T22:13:00.001+08:00

Father, You are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

2010-01-26T21:33:00.002+08:00

i don't update my blog regularly. and honestly, i have thought of shutting it down many times. or just leaving it and not update it. but it's constantly on my list of frequently visited websites so i always see and and so i always end up going to my page. and then i'll tell myself it's time to blog. and then i'll think, but i have nothing to blog about/i have nothing interesting to say/can be said. and so i'll blog hop a bit to the regular bloggers' blogs and wish i had just an exciting life.

but now here it is, still alive nearly 5 years since its creation. not even a change of blog url, just many fickle changes in skin. i don't know, but though i don't update it regularly and it seems like i don't care abt it, i think somewhere i'm kinda attracted to this thing. or rather, i'm proud of myself having this last for so long when everything else that i've tried to keep going always seem to fail. and i guess once it's gone on long enough, you can't really let go even though it seems like the most reasonable rational and logical thing to do.

PATIENCE, yes i can.

a blog post about really nothing at all.

2010-01-13T09:30:00.002+08:00

it's 9.30am, and i'm up! haha. plus my lecture only starts at 12 later. i think i'm still jet-lagged in a way. i go to sleep like at 11plus at night, and wake up at 9am. or either that, i'm just lazy and being a pig. oh oh in seattle we went to this market by the pier, coast, sea, whatever, and their mascot was a pig named rachel. haha. rachel the pig.

still trying to get used to the late classes that i have this sem. and by late i mean like 12noon and 2pm. i only have one day which my class starts at 10am so far, and thats the earliest. really different from last sem, when i had two 8am and one 9am out of 4 days. now i can like wake up and go like, hmm i have time to go online before i go to school! rather than, siann i need to brave traffic.

i just realised last night, as i was on my bed going to sleep, that i'll be turning big two zero this year! oh my gosh that's like so old. and yet there are still many many times i just want to be a kid and whine and throw tantrums and kick a fuss. haha, i think i still do!

i nearly died of boredom during my 4-hour break yesterday. my laptop batt died!

2010-01-09T11:51:00.003+08:00

happy 2010! :D

back from the US on thursday night/friday morning. it was an eventful trip haha! but i think that was what made it exciting and memorable. running after every transport; train, bus, plane! nearly had to stay in hongkong for an additional night cos our flight got delayed, which meant we would miss our connecting flight which was the last flight of the day. but they bumped us to another airline which got us in about the same time as the original. and we have premium seats!

anyway, lots of things happened during the trip, and unexpected events that have cropped up, but really thank God that He was with us all the time; when we thought we would miss the train, we caught it. when we thought there would be no time, He made time. the trip was amazing, but tiring too cos we had to find transport all the time. still, saw many sights, experienced many things...SNOW! haha. it was all really cool. (:

2009 was a good year. many things fell into place. i got a job at haven which kinda gave me better insight as to what i wanted to do, got good enough results to get into NUS, school timetable and friends which all worked out great, a rollarcoaster ride with Him taught me (again!) to trust Him and Him alone, and not rush Him.

in 2oo9, i want to trust God.
specifically, with my life and the decisions that come along.
even more specifically, i want to trust Him with my results and the plan that He has for me. i don't know where i'll be going, what i'll be doing, but i want to trust that He knows and i will know in due time.
i want to trust Him with my friendships and relationships. that He'll be the Lord of it all.
i trust that He'll teach me and lead me to be a good leader, faithful disciple and earnest worshipper.

you may resolute at the beginning of the year, and half way through we always forget. but i think what's amazing is that despite that, He always brings you back.

2009-12-04T12:36:00.003+08:00

haha okay haven't been here for 198919673+++ years...i was busy being a student!

exams was okay, hopefully. haha just took them one after another and getting used to the fact that after this i don't need most of the notes and readings anymore! throw throw throw them all away! or sell, heh.

so yup, trying to find stuff to do, and have a life aha. went for starbucks kettling yesterday afternoon with a bunch of the youth. haha what was supposed to be just me mel and dez at wisma turned out to be the three of us plus 5 more at tanglin mall. haha and it's really ironic, since tanglin mall is like, empty. there was no queue at all! haha it's like those b&j days kind of thing...go to the outlet with no human traffic, or that's ulu to the max, and you don't have to queue! haha cheryl said the outlet at city hall was crazy, she didn't even bother to queue even though she was studying at starbucks.

today, i'm displaced from my room. my parents decided to paint the house and so today it's my turn to get the room painted. i'm having it red and pink! haha classy. hope it turns out good. (:

couple of weeks more till the us trip. got a ton of stuff my mom's been nagging to do. pack my bags, get warm clothing, get the flu vaccination, make sure the visa's still valid...haha.

okay, hungry and time for lunch yay. :D

2009-10-27T22:45:00.003+08:00

i suddenly felt to urge to study and to work today. i think it's the mixture of talking to yurong, and all the recent RP programs and surveys which talks asks about attitudes towards study and the psych module in particular. which leads me to feel guilty and super worried abt this module cos i cannot make it! speaking of that, its going to be RP-week this week seriously. i'm spamming and chiong-ing to finish all my credits this week. i stayed back til 2pm today just to do one, which by the way is only 1pt and we need to clear 12pts, i have another one for 3pts tmr, another on friday, and last one next monday. haha but i'm glad i managed to find and sign up enough to clear la. so i wont have negative hours, heh.

the rush of projects and essays and assignments are all more or less over for me. only left with one physics module grp project, and i'm like just a member, so i'm not too worried abt that.

i'm starting to see that uni is not so fun/easy anymore. how to achieve a cap of at least 4???

starting to do rentals to supplement my income now that psle is over. haha. it's becoming an nus-team pool of tech/rental pple now: me, david and guanyou, with the exception of mat and adriel. haha and cassandra seemed interested in coming down to see how its like.

it's week 11. 2 more weeks of school!

2009-10-19T00:17:00.002+08:00

i've been pretty busy and hectic the past week.been trying to get work done cos like deadlines are all drawing near!and it's so stressful!methodically going through each assignment and project one after another.

now all of a sudden i'm feeling stressed.rah.and emo.

okay i don't want to blog anymore.

If I sing you a song, would you sing along
Or wait till I'm gone
Oh how we push and pull
If I give you my heart, would you just play the part
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful
Am I catching up to you
While you're running away to chase your dreams
It's time for us to face the truth
Cause we're coming to each other to change
And maybe I'm not ready

-Try by Asher Book (Fame)

2009-10-13T22:22:00.001+08:00

"Most assuredly, I say to you, today, you will be with Me in Paradise."
Luke 24:43

2009-10-09T10:45:00.002+08:00

i have two reflection papers to be done.

i told myself i'll finish two reflection papers today.

i hope i finish two reflection papers today.

i don't like reflection papers.

:(

2009-10-03T21:36:00.003+08:00

i need to start studying again soon.haha gave myself a break yesterday and today, will start my readings from tmr!

the two tests on monday were.haha.i dont know lehhh.i felt that cnm was quite okay, but everyone said it was hard.so i'm like, oh okay, yeah its hard.hahaha.but psych was HORRIBLE!haha i think i whined to everyone ard me about it already.100mcqs in an hour and there's the lousy negative marking!so that means you cant go, hmmm i think this is the answer, because if it isn't then marks are deducted.yeah so half the time i was like, should i answer the question?it made you even unsure abt the things you studied.and they ask really strange and obscure questions.i was so tired doing the paper i nearly fell asleep!

submitted a paper on monday, and another on on friday.haha i think i will always feel accomplished after finishing a paper.cos its usually required to be double-spaced, times new roman font, 1'' margins, references and footnotes...it makes your paper look so formal and professional.i'm quite glad my paper submissions are quite spread out.i have another one to do by wednesday, and one by the following friday.so i can focus one paper at a time, like submit one and move on to the next.it's e-learning week next week!haha, quite happy cos its an even week, so i only have 2 tutorials to go to school for.

went down to haven yesterday after school.i meant to go on thursday since i had no school, and it was children's day too, but i got caught up in baking brownies and by the time i was done it was too late to go.oh the brownies turned out great by the way, haha.i love this recipe!

anyway some things have changed around there, new kids in and some kids out.haha but it was cool to see everyone again, girls talking non-stop telling me stories and watching tv, and the guys playing soccer as usual.their grades improved, i'm so proud of them.(:

played with sparklers and lanterns yesterday.because its mid-autumn/lantern/mooncake festival today.haha which is the correct name?played with the sparklers outside corps.i love sparklers, they're so pretty!haha made words with them- torchbearers!haha high-level stuff okay, cos everyone takes a letter and has to write it out, all at the same time!haha so it was like, quick light, quick light...okay go!haha i was doing 'h' and aaron was doing 'b' beside me, he kept counted to some beat, like 1 and 2 and 1 and 2 and...haha!we had to write the letters in the opposite way too, cos cheryl was taking pictures and it had to turn out the correct way.haha i think it was quite successful.ali came down after that with paper lanterns from ntuc.haha so we went to bishan park to 'play lantern'.jerrold keeps dropping his lousy lantern!haha after that ali got bored, so we started burning leaves and stuff.haha it was hilarious!

okay i'm going to watch armageddon online.haha i love the movie!it's like the kind of movies that you'll never grow tired of watching.i've been trying to get it to load a couple of times, but it keeps having some problem halfway.hope it works now!(:

2009-09-22T23:55:00.002+08:00

i'm procrastinating.

i have 2 tests to study for. a report to submit. and a term paper to do. by next week. and so far i'm halfway done through studying, barely started on my term paper, and not started at all on my report. sighhhhh. i'm feeling very lazy and sian.

howwwwww.
how to do a report?

i don't like school. :(

2009-09-16T23:03:00.006+08:00

okay i wanted to blog a couple of days ago, but blogger looked funny in my browser, so i decided not to.firefox is getting quite rebellious recently.it refuses to open my hotmail inbox messages.had to resort to using safari.BAD BAD FOX.

been stressing myself lately, occupying myself and hence becoming busy haha.i have a test this friday, another two and 2 papers due the week after mid-terms.that's like 2 weeks away, but i think i need a lot and a lot and a lot of time to do my papers and study for tests.so i'm stressing myself to start something, anything this week.so yup, did a bit of the intro for my psych paper, covered the first few chapters of physics, and really studied about memory.ask me anything abt that and i SHOULD be able to answer.haha.interesting module though, lots of fascinating experiments that they come up with.like, do you know you lose the most info in the first 19 secs?and it's proven that you recall better when you're in the same place and situation as when you first learnt something.haha cool stuff.

SHERMIN'S BACK!hahaha.she's been back since sat night/sunday morning, and its so good to see her again!she came down to nus for lunch with me and accompanied me through my 4-hour break.i missed how much we could talk and how its just so easy to say everything with her and how she seems to understand.haha even if she didn't she's the kind you can count on to go like, EEE why like that...but nvm, i still love you!*big smile haha.(:

mmm i'm just posting this up cos i think its such a sweet sweet song...i like the westlife version.i want a guy who can play and serenade me!(:

It's late in the evening
She's wondering what clothes to wear
She puts on her make up
And brushes her long, blonde hair
And then she asks me, do I look all right?
And I say yes, you look wonderful tonight

We go to a party
And everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady
Who's walking around with me
And then she asks me, do I feel all right?
And I say yes, I feel wonderful tonight

I feel wonderful because I see
The love that's right in your eyes
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realise
How much I love you

It's time to go home now
And I've got an aching head
So I gave her the car keys
And she helps me into bed
And then I tell her, as I turn down the lights
I say darling, you were wonderful tonight
Oh I say darling, you were wonderful tonight

- Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton

2009-09-06T00:21:00.002+08:00

one month in school already!and i'm starting to feel very busy busy busy.i'm glad for nice and friendly people that i meet in lectures, tutorials and even in the photocopying room at the central library.haha there's this room full of photocopying machines in the library, like really full.there's probably like 6 rows of 5 machines or something.and people just stand there and photocopy and photocopy and photocopy.anyway yesterday i was photocopying readings for social work when this girl came and used the machine beside me.she was trying to work out the machine i think, and was holding the same book i borrowed to photocopy the readings.so i asked her if she wanted to just borrow the readings that i've photocopied to save time flipping pages and all that.haha we ended up splitting up the reading list and helping each other photocopy readings.so now i have quite alot of readings to do!

so far the people i've met and have to work with in projects have been great.haha my cnm group is hilarious.yup, i'm grateful to be blessed with great experiences in school so far.other than the endless pile of readings and boring lectures.and the stress of meeting deadlines.i've a project presentation due on monday and i'm not sure if my group is ready for it haha.i mean, we do get the job done, it's just some things are easier to do when everyone has a common time to meet other than constant emailing.and that's usually the problem cos everyone has different timetables, it's hard to find any time to meet.haha and online meetings will end up digressing and talking about videos and singapore idol.

did my first rental today!haha it was quite okay la, cos everything was set up since the rehearsal on sunday, and they had their own sound tech, so basically i just had to make sure the mains don't die and press the correct light buttons at the correct times.oh and the cool thing about weddings is that everyone is happy and you get food from the reception after that haha.had worship practice after rental that lasted 2.5 hours.many songs to do cos the band is on a break.

i'm quite err, unsure about whether i want to continue with keyboard playing.sometimes i really feel happy playing, but mostly it makes me stressed.not zai enough to like, let go and just play kind of thing, so it hinders my worship cos i'm thinking about what chords and worrying about the next song or something.but yet through these past months of playing, i've experienced one of the better worship in my opinion.like when everyone is just playing together, building up and dying down together, it really feels like He is with us, it's indescribable.but i like to sing, and i want to sing too.it's just hard to do both cos i'm not zai enough.oh well, at least no tow gay songs this week!(:

okay need to research for my physics project.i'm the only fass student in my group, the rest are life science students haha.don't want to appear at the meeting with nothing and no clue what's going on.did you know hot water freezes faster than cold water?it's called the mpemba effect, discovered by some high school kid, and scientists still can't find a definite reason why this phenomenon happens.and we're doing this for the project.PHYSICS.

learn something new everyday!

2009-08-29T00:44:00.003+08:00

this week was my first full week of school, with lectures and tutorials.and cos most of my tutorials are on odd weeks, so this week is the 'busiest' i'll be in school for just mundane lectures and tutorials.it's been quite okay i guess, considering i know like nobody in my tutorial groups.so just go and smile and say hi.most pple are quite friendly.i'm now like an expert in looking out for 'loners' just like myself to make friends with.haha, but i realised quite alot of pple do go to lectures and tutorials alone.at least i always have someone to go lecture with!

out of the 4 days i go to school, on 3 of the days i have to be in sch at either 8am or 9am.which is really quite bad, not only cos i have to wake up when it's still dark, but also cos i need to fight with every other driver out there for my right of space on the road.i think i've become agressive for a p-plate holder.i'm not even a month-old driver!haha.but i think it's part nurture too, the whole past two years in ac my dad drove a race car.haha even the old manual tiny red car seemed like it flew.anyway my point is that driving at peak hour is not cool.i take an hour or sometimes more to get to school at that time, while in the afternoon it takes me like 20mins to reach home.ridiculous.

i want to thank God for all the provision He has given to me.friendly friends in class and lectures, tutorial slots which fit into my timetable, keeping me (and the car) safe on the roads in the mornings, and for just allowing me to move on from dwelling on what i dont have, to being content and satisfied with what i DO have.(:

i'm giving tuition at 10am tmr!haha if yurong didn't remind me i would have probably slept til noon :p

2009-08-18T22:36:00.001+08:00

i drove to school this morning at 7am.and if you ask any driver, that's like one of the worse times to drive.PEAK HOUR.but i thought like, hey i drove at this time last friday, shouldn't be any problem today.however for some strange reason, irritating drivers were on the road this morning.a thousand and one pple tried/succeeded in cutting me, and i got so mad!plus there was this once the guy didn't even bother to signal, and then after cutting, he drove like a tortoise!which is really bad since tortoises cannot drive.maybe it's cos i left slightly later at 7.10.see what 10mins does.throughout the whole drive i was trying really really really hard not to get pissed.and i think i drove like my dad.which may/may not be a good thing haha.anyway i got to school late, but my newly-made friend at lecture saved me a seat.see, it's impt to make friends and be nice to pple.

lecture-only week has been, mmm.boring in some sense.like on tues and weds i go to school for just one 2hour lecture and then i'm done with school.and then after that i'm like, lalala what should i do now?but then again, i'm not sure if i want tutorials to start either, cos that'll mean projects to do and readings to read and assignments to do.

speaking of readings, i just finished the first readings of my uni life!it's on south-east asia and maps and stuff.and its really irritating cos the words are like smaller than font size 8, and its goes on for like endless amount of pages.eeeeee.

anyway, i just confirmed my timetable for the rest of this sem. in nus you have to bid and ballot for like everything.if you're an arts student that is.i'm still trying to decide if its a good or bad thing.true, you get to plan your own timetable and stuff, but when you dont get what you want it gets stressful looking for an alternative, and your ideal timetable is gone.but it's good i get a 4-day week, and tuesday's just one 2hour lecture at 8am and then i'm done.so i guess that's like 3 and a half days haha.

blogger is looking very funny now.seems like lots of things don't want to work and have become funny.my hotmail account refuses to delete messages.and yesterday facebook looked wrong.

2009-08-14T10:51:00.002+08:00

i'm at yixuan and tessa's room!haha.having a 2hour break between lectures, so came and crashed and hang out.yixuan is still sleeping, the pig!

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

2009-08-08T00:45:00.002+08:00

i went swimming on tuesday with bindy and serene.haha i was intending to nuah the whole day at home, but at like 2plus serene called and went like, eh we're going swimming, come come!yup so i went.cos like the swimming complex was just beside my estate.and i had to pay for my 1.50 ticket with a 10-dollar note cos i had no small change, so the machine gave me back 8.50 back in COINS.

on wednesday i went back to haven to visit.haha, spent time nuah-ing in the girls section watching tv and talking to lizhen, then catching up with aunty soohong after that.had honwah's company to dohby ghaut after that.

i made peach tarts on thursday!haha and i intended to meet victor for dinner before band but HE DIDN'T REPLY ME.met timothy instead, and i was late haha oops.cos the peach tarts took longer than i expected.i still don't know how it tastes yet though.then at j8 we met victor!HMPH.

spent today with mel!met her in corps after her sch ended, and we spent nearly an hour deciding where to go and what to do.we didn't really want to go to town cos like the whole world will probably be there since it was a half day for schools.in the end we went to get bubble tea, then to thompson to get oven-toasted food.haha cos i wanted to make oven-toasted stuff, its so fun!yup, then went to her place for movie-watching chick flicks to make ourselves happy.watched take the lead halfway, cos the disc refused to play properly, then continued with step up.left for practice after that.ohh oven-toasted onion rings are quite nice.and i found a new way to eat pasta, with campbell soup!

had a good time with my cell today.mmm, i'm glad for it la.you see things happening that you never expected and God working in His own special way somehow.basically stuff which i could have never done have done to yield such results.

it's in times when i feel helpless and lost that i have a deeper insight to His grace and eternal love.(:

2009-08-07T00:11:00.009+08:00

yay my blog post options and buttons are back to normal! (:

shermin! counting down! :D

thanks, friends.(:

2009-08-03T13:28:00.001+08:00

happy 400th post!haha it's quite little, considering i've had this blog since...2004.haha i dont blog very regularly la.

last week was my last week of work!haha.it was fun working at haven la.although there were times in the morning when i woke up and went like, i don't want to go and work.haha.and then on wednesdays kiyomi and i will be like, yay mid-week!haha.it's not that i don't like to work la, it's just that weekends are more fun haha.yup anyway, i'm probably going to miss all the kids there.3 weeks away on holiday in june and i already missed them.mmm.but my last week at work was quite anti-climax la.didn't really do much also, cos there were hardly any kids ard.so had like 2hour lunch breaks, go ard and talk to the girls and stuff.

oh oh oh and i passed my driving test!hahahaha.i have power now.i took my test on thurs.so scary can!and i think my tester didn't like me.he told me we'll be taking test route 8, but then when we got on the road, he directed me through test route 10.he bluffed me!!!i think he probably keyed in wrongly in his tablet pc, and then cannot change back or something.oh, and then my first course in the circuit was crank course, and i was like, oh no.haha.and then i went in the course and on the first turn, hit the kerb.i was like oh no oh no oh no.haha and then my tester opened the door and went like, you hit the kerb.hello, i know?did correction and got out of there.i was quite nervous after that already la.cos hitting kerb is like 10 pts.and i need 18 and below to pass.anyway long story short, i passed with 18pts!haha one mistake away from failure la, but i don't care.looking at my results i realised i actually went on the road with 16pts already clocked up.very very scary actually.haha, so it shows i'm good on the road!

when i told my dad i hit the kerb but i passed, he went, oh no kerb-hitter!

on thurs i also did bidding for uni modules.it is so confusing!i spent the night reading their useful info section and trying to understand what they were saying lor.and in the end i gave up and asked yurong.she spent 5mins explaining and i got it.useful info not so useful.yup but i'm happy i got the modules i bidded for.haha i want to be idealistic and have a 3-day week.but its kinda far-fetched cos tutorial slots are by balloting.and i still have one more module to bid for.

anyway, i have a free week this week cos i didnt know ORIENTATION MUST SIGN UP.i thought it was one of those compulsoy things.and apparently david, guanyou and everyone in the world knew that must sign up!except me!so rubbish.so oh well.go into uni like a loner haha.will probably crash kahhwee's og when i don't feel lazy this week.will probably meet up with lots of pple this week before sch starts la.and go back to haven cos pple there want to bring me out to eat ice cream.(:

2009-07-15T23:45:00.002+08:00

Tell me what You want me to do Lord God
Tell me what You want for my life
It's Yours Oh God, it's Yours

2009-07-14T23:56:00.002+08:00

yes i'm back.

school's starting soon.i'll be ending my job at the end of the month.driving test on the 30th.and a lot of other stuff occupying my life now.i don't know.i'm kind of.floundering.bordering between what-i-should-do and what-i-want-to-do.trying to find my place.

someone asked me what i meant by having a life.if it was what i wanted to do, or if it was what God wanted me to do.

honestly, i don't know.

bleah.

2009-06-17T11:06:00.002+08:00

hello from new york city!it's tuesday 1106pm here, and i'm getting ready for bed haha.it's been quite fun so far i guess...i'm not really a walk around and see sights kind of person. plus the fact that its sooo cold around here.at least, to me.so that makes me miserable :( haha.my idea of a vacation is somewhere with weather i can stand, waking up and deciding that maybe i don't want to do anything for the day, just laze around, walk alot less, shop when i have the mood, and definitely someplace i don't have to fly so far to.haha don't get me wrong, it's been fun on this holiday! it's just probably a holiday i wouldn't plan for myself.

anyway, so far we've been about nearly a week in here.spent like nearly 2 days travelling, of which i wanted to die.the flight was terrible i hate flying!thinking of having to fly back is just...terrible terrible terrible.arrived at washington dc, crashed the night and then headed up to niagara falls in canada the next morning.the falls was fantastic!although if you think about it it's just water flowing, but the sight's really amazing.spent a day in toronto, up the CN tower.then on monday we headed to nyc, where we are now.new york is...everything i expected, and everything i did not too.haha.it's really cool going to the streets and avenues which all sound so familiar yet you've never been there before.like madison avenue, 5th avenue, the numbered streets, wall street, broadway...haha!and all the familiar sights, like the yellow taxis, brooklyn bridge, empire state building, the subway, times square...oh but nyc is kinda dirty.the roads aren't very nice, traffic is terrible, and the people walk really fast.haha.oh and everyone walks around with newspaper in one hand, and coffee cup in the other.and starbucks is EVERYWHERE.been eating quite a lot i think.and the portions are just crazy.

we'll be in nyc til saturday, where after that we'll be heading to boston, then back to washington.haven't really shopped much yet, cos there's nothing really much to get in canada and in new york.david's got quite a lot of souvenirs, but i'm still having a headache figuring out what to get for everybody haha!

oh i think they're shooting a movie or something downstairs outside our hotel.there's trailers and lights and big trucks and everything.so cool right?haha.

okay, til the next time we get free wireless access in our room! :D

2009-06-09T22:42:00.003+08:00

flying tmr! lots of things to do tmr before that though. have to go back to ac to pick up my grad cert cos i think it's too risky to ask manfred to be my brother/father haha! cos only immediate family members can collect on behalf...and it has to be done before 26th june i think. yup hopefully my brother can drive me there! then its back to more packing. and then off on the jet plane!

3 weeks seems to be really long :( like, now's the start of june, and by the time i'm back june will be over and july comes, and that means school is starting soon! no time no time!

a glimpse to what it might be...i want to make it work. (:

2009-06-07T00:53:00.004+08:00

back from leader's retreat at william booth from friday night.it was okay la, like an extended, no time deadline leader's meeting in a home setting.amelia is soo paranoid!she was like, is the blanket clean?is the pillow clean?ahhh i don't like the toilet!!!really really tired now, didn't sleep much.and i blame meanie yurong!cos she brought in ritz biscuits while we were going to sleep and tempted us to eat.then amelia and cheryl couldn't take it and went in search of more food.and it was already like 2am.so the whole of today my head was just pounding.from the internal heat, external heat, the lack of sleep or the lack of fresh air...i don't know.anyway after the whole thing ended, went to watch terminator at jurong point.haha yes, seriously just asking for it.and the show was so loud!mel minghui and i were like spending half the time covering our ears.the show was okay la.realised that i've been watching shows that i have no idea what the plot is beforehand.

so yes i need to sleep now, or it may be more than just a headache tmr and then my mom would nag me to death.leaving on a jet plane like three days from now...so not looking forward to the plane journey :(

There is no one like our God

i think i don't know what exactly i'm doing and what's my plan.although maybe i can hold out till i stop in july and then that'll be the end of it.i think right now it's just feigning ignorance till i can trust myself be in complete control.and absorbing myself in the other where i should have stayed right from the start.

2009-06-01T23:03:00.007+08:00

Let me know if it's gonna be you
Boy, you've got some things to prove
Let me know that you can be safe
I don't want you to run away
(:

2009-05-27T22:56:00.002+08:00

everytime after driving i'll take 188 which takes me straight to work.and 188 goes past the dunearn bus stop and bukit batok area.which always makes me feel nostalgic whenever i pass it.the bus stop that we always crowd in, the bridge over the drain the guys always sit on the railing on, the strange woodsy area across the school with a small trail that i only remeber vaguely going in once for some school camp, west mall and all its eating stores, the mama shop by the sch bus stop that lily and i would go to buy m&ms after band, the area around the school that consitutes our annual cross country.plus, learning in bbdc means having to drive around bukit batok/teck whye area.

haha.these memories where just ecentuated by the fact that we still gathered last sat for mine and jiawei's birthday dinner despite this being our third year apart.i think its amazing how we can all lead our own lives, grow more mature (haha!), and yet when we meet back like probbaly 5 times a year, we still laugh at each other's jokes, get along like we've never left, and act like 13-year olds.

i just thank God for you. (:

i think it has been my most trying week at work thus far.sometimes i begin to doubt if its my 'calling' to go into this line of work.its a thankless job and i don't know if i'm able to live with that for long.like always, i'm one who needs assurance and appreciation.i really salute the staff who've been there for years and years.i think even five years is an achievement.

i think i'm slipping into a timothy-who-am-i-and-what-am-i-doing-here phase.

When it's not alright
When it's not okay
Will you try to make me feel better
Will you say alright
Will you say okay
Will you stick with me through whatever

Or run away?

i can't do it anymore, it's too hard and it's affect everything which i though wouldn't.and it sucks to be proven that you can't make it.either my expectations are too high, or it's that i finally see you for who you are.

2009-05-17T21:09:00.003+08:00

Reasons why i do not like public transport:

1. You have to wait really long for the bus to come.like really really long.
2. You get demoralised while waiting because you see the same few buses that keep passing by with hardly anybody inside...and they are all NOT your buses.
3. When your bus finally arrives, you have to squeeze with the whole wide bus stop-ful of people to get in.need i say anything about getting a seat?
4. When you finally get in, the bus driver drives at the speed of the cyclist beside it.
5. You do not have the power to tell the bus driver to drive faster!
6. Nor can you tell him to stop going into every bus bay WHEN THERE'S NO ONE THERE.
7. You have to pray the traffic light continues to stay green even when the bus driver decides to slow down and wait for an orange light to stop.
8. You see another bus which you could take OVERTAKE the bus you're in.

Reasons why i'm learning how to drive:

1. I do not need to wait really really long to get to my destination.
2. I do not need to wait for my car to come.
3. I have a lot of breathing space and do not need to squeeze with a thousand and one people.
4. I will not drive at the speed of a cyclist.
5. I am IN CONTROL of the vehicle.
6. I do not need to keep stopping because i do not have a thousand and one people in my vehicle.
7. I can speed up when the light turns orange.
8. I can overtake OTHER PEOPLE.

yes, i really really really do not like public transport.

2009-05-16T00:08:00.003+08:00

i'm into 'songs of the moment' these few days.happy songs like you are a child of mine, the other in Christ alone and enough.guanyou lead worship today, and i think all his songs were happy songs!haha.i think it's not so much of happy, like sing to the king happy, but more of secure and assuring in the word of God speak way.yup and if you know me, i'm all about assurance and security.maybe that's why i'm like into these songs for now haha.

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can see
You are more than enough for me

i've learnt and realised that everything that happens works for the glory of God.and it's usually in the times when things don't happen the way you want it to that you find it hard to accept that.but for me, i think it's times like these that draw me back to Him, and that things don't work out because i've placed it above Him.

and i've reconciled the fact that it doesn't matter to me if someone came up to me one day and told me that christianity is all a lie and everything.because it's by faith i believe that He is real.hope is the confident expectation of things to come.and i put my hope in Him.i'm expecting things to happen.

haha i don't know why i wrote all this.sudden inspiration (:

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of men
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till He returns, or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

2009-05-09T23:48:00.003+08:00

Father, into Your courts I will enter
Maker of Heaven and earth, I tremble
In Your Holy presence
Glory, glory in Your sanctuary
Splendour and Majesty Lord
Before You, all life adores You

All the earth will declare
That Your love is everywhere
The fields will exalt, seas resound
Hear the trees' joyful cry
Praising You and so will I
A new song I'll sing
Lord I will glorify and bless
Your Holy name

-All the earth by Don Moen

the new song of the moment.

that's all.

9.30am in corps tmr. :(

2009-04-26T01:04:00.002+08:00

Sing to the King who is coming to reign
Glory to Jesus, the Lamb that was slain
Life and salvation, His empire shall bring
Joy to the nations when Jesus is King

Come let us sing a song
A song declaring we belong to Jesus
He's all we need
Lift up a heart of praise
Sing now with voices raised to Jesus
Sing to the King

For His returning, we watch and we pray
We will be ready the dawn of that day
We'll join in singing with all the redeemed
Cause satan is vanquished and Jesus is King

i'm in love with this song. it somehow makes me happy! :D

2009-04-21T22:38:00.002+08:00

i was blog-hopping all the blogs i've never had the time to go to just now.and i've realised that lots of things can happen when you're not looking.i haven't been in touch with pple and have been waiting for them to be in touch with me.and then when an out of the blue message comes, it'll be like all hi how are you doing, and all that i'm so interested in what you're doing.but after that conversation, it'll just resume to the before state.it's like 2 live wires coming together, create a spark, and then each goes its own way, not knowing when it'll meet again.i'll like to give the excuse that everyone's so busy with their lives and there really isn't much time.but truth be told, i haven't been trying either.

emo emo emo emo emo...

2009-04-14T23:10:00.002+08:00

we were chasing the sun on sunday morning.easter sunrise service was at 6.30AM, and yurong cleverly estimated 20mins to get to corps from the far far west.haha she forgot to factor in the fact that she's normally late! :p so anyway, through the journey she kept pestering her dad to go faster, cos "the sun is rising the sun is rising!" we eventually got there at 6.40.

on my first practical lesson, i kept turning into other pple's lane.on the second lesson, i went 60km/h on my first time out on the road.lesson three, i nearly ran a red light at a junction which had a red light camera.two days ago, i stopped halfway out of the filter lane and onto the main road.

i wonder what i'll do tomorrow.

2009-04-03T11:36:00.002+08:00

blogging from work... :X

my house internet is gone for SEVEN DAYS!!! :( haha yurong i need to go your house i use YOUR internet.yup yup so only have time to do some quick replies!

Tomithy: too much tea stains your teeth! and you get addicted! hermit hermit hermit.
seamless: practical was fun fun fun! haha feel like i have so much power. I CAN DRIVE!!!
boogieman: why are you boogieman? you can't steal carebear...the carebear spirit and bond is too great!! you cannot outstare the carebear.

okay ta ta! (:

2009-03-31T22:46:00.004+08:00

so shermin left on sunday morning.haha at first she was sooo angry and upset with me and mel cos she thought we won't be going to send her off.haha silly girl.she gave mel and i each a care bear to look after though.

harmony bear!!summon the care bear spirit!

see...care bear made friends! (:

went to sleep over at ali's place cos there was worship prac at 8.30 in the morning.yurong says ali washes her bedsheets like once every 6 months.mmm let's not think about that.

worship was...not really what we had hoped.haha i guess this is why we opted for a saturday practice.i was sooo nervous for my piano 'solo' hahahaha.and i made super alot of mistakes.but yurong said it sounded seamless and i'm really?!! how can it be seamless? haha but oh well.more confident now.(:

I've been running, trying to be one who sees
I've been working, this salvation out on my knees
There is nothing better than knowing
That we are redeemed
I'm believing, trusting in creative hands
I am praying for our world to bow to Your plan
And this one thought is unmistakable
To take up my cross and follow You Lord

When You stand, the tall trees and mountains bow
When You speak, the fiercest of oceans is still
And I see the sinner seek devotion
The lost become chosen
And I fall to my knees

I'm forgiven by a Saviour who did not deserve death
He was blameless and I was lost in shamefulness
Undelivered, but it doesn't seem right
Unless I keep my eyes focused on the Saviour who gave His life
In the middle of a world that denies it believes
It is breaking apart at the very seams
There is one thing to be alive for
And it's to take up my cross and follow You Lord

When You stand, the tall trees and mountains bow
When You speak, the fiercest of oceans is still
And I see the sinner seek devotion
The lost become chosen
And I fall to my knees

I will take up my cross
And follow Lord where you lead me
I will take up my cross
And follow wherever You go

- Devotion by Hillsong United

i think this is a really beautiful song.but one which i dare not sing.the words are too declaring and powerful for me to really say them and mean it.dare i say that i'll take up His cross and follow WHEREVER He wants me to go?sigh.it's a 'goal' to aim towards i guess.

how do people write such beautiful lyrics? i want to write too!

first practical lesson tmr! haha so exciting! :D

2009-03-28T11:29:00.005+08:00

wednesday was lunching with the going away girl!met shermin at clementi and we went botak jones.the food took soooo long!haha we were hungry, but the portions are like so huge, i think we each left like half our food behind.

thursday i went to work early!haha.left after devotion, and joined yurong david and dezmand crashing shermin's place.then we went down to the east for cheryl's graduation.she looks so pretty!(: yup then went to the flyer after that for shermin's 'last supper'.haha.she nearly didn't go!cos we wanted it to be a surprise, so we didn't tell her abt it.haha should have seen aaron's expression.we went to a christian bar of which aaron guanyou and shermin got lost looking for.haha but it was cool.although no idea what's the rational for pricing NON-alcoholic drinks at like 10bucks per glass after 9pm.

friday i woke up at 8.30, cos my dad said he could send me to work after his appointment.at 8.45 he called and went like, "the queue is not moving, i might not make it back in time." haha i was like, sian cos there was a meeting at 10.anyway, rush rush, took a cab at clementi to work cos it was already 9.45.

and when i reached work, there was no one there!SIGH.in the end we didn't start til 10.15.

after work it was like 6.15.rushed down to corps for practice and reached at 7.40!SORRY AMELIA!!!cell was kpt dinner/supper cos most of us haven't eaten.

i feel cheated by a taxi driver and a noodle stall aunty.

shermin is leaving on a jet plane... :(

REPLIES!!
honwah: haha nice cos i'm in it right. (: i spent quite some time on it, IT BETTER BE NICE.
eat watch movie: haha yes i had to do it myself in the end, cos no one responded to my blog entry voluntry job offer :(
shermin: yup yup.WEST COAST PLAZA! hahahaha. china got no waffles, don't go laaa.
mel: me like it too! :D and me is wondering when you will UPDATE YOUR OWN BLOG.

2009-03-23T23:19:00.002+08:00

saturday was spent eating and watching movies and travelling from corps to thompson area.my brother and i headed down to corps in the afternoon after famil lunch for the fireproof screening, followed by discussion after that.second time i've watched it.still cried though haha.refreshments after that.

after that timothy, cedric and i were orphaned with nowhere to go, so we followed matt.went up to tim's house cos matt needed to fix his computer, but apparantly it wasn't fixable.so ended up spendng time deciding where to go for dinner.EAT AGAIN.finally decided on thompson plaza.yurong decided not to go home to study, and she and david joined us.joel came after that and cedric opened his house for movie watching.so bought some ice cream and headed back to corps area and watched some russian movie.matt said its not horror, but i kinda spent nearly half the movie hidden behind the pillow.oh well.i think only matt and tim knew what was happening.

guanyou joined us after that, and we spent some time watching harry potter on channel 5.and it's all because we had two emma watson fanatics.headed down to meng's kitchen for supper cos the newly commissioned officer didn't want to travel so far to kpt.sigh, yes MORE EATING.headed home after that.

sunday was at corps at 8.30AM!!!shermin and i were the earliest can.haha although my dad sent us all the way there, but still we had to wake up the earliest and travel the furthest!i think prac went quite well considering all of us are definitely not morning pples and were like still half asleep.

after service went for class, and then lunch-ed with shermin.moody day :( yup and then went home.finally got to see my house in daylight.

2009-03-21T00:18:00.004+08:00

okay new skin!haha been toying with the idea of upgrading my blog look, so yup ta-dah!haha so much more cheery and happy compared to the uh, reflective previous one.mmm not quite done with the skin yet though.i'm planning to put my own pics instead of the picture thing you see on top.haha yes, planning's the word yeah.don't really know how to go about doing it though haha.any kind soul wanna sacrifice some time to do it for me?(: (: (:

one thing about this new skin is that it looks as if i write alot for each post.

going to go grocery shopping tmr morning again.my mom's like, "we can't live without you now!"

so brillant right.feel sooo loved.
haha.

oh oh i passed my ftt on wed.haha yes, 1 step closer to driving!

2009-03-15T23:50:00.003+08:00

"The Salvation Army, an international movement, is an evangelical branch of the univeral Christian church..."
it kinda struck me as ironic that we're supposed to be an "evangelical branch", but yet we're not actively pushing down the 4 walls to reach out to the community.in fact, we're not exactly the most welcoming bunch of people to newcomers.

okay sorry, having a cynical moment there.

on friday we watched freaky friday for cell.cos it was friday the 13th.haha so lame yes?but it was a nice show la.and there were a couple of thoughts to ponder about too.didn't realise that lindsay lohan was so round though.at the face la.

saturday morning was spent grocery shopping at imm.haha it was kinda cool la, went with my dad and brother cos my mom had to work the whole day.had family lunch after that with my grandparents, then off to corps for worship prac.a looong worship prac, cos rachel came down to give us a couple of pointers about transitions and stuff.went for cheap sushi dinner at ang mo kio after that.it cost like 5bucks per person only la.later persuaded joel to send me and shermin home.(:

today met shermin at shell bus stop to take 52.haha we realised that we really see each other everyday!my everyday friend!headed down to corps for prac before service.major bob gave the message today, about being fishers of men and women.had soldiership class after service, and then went down to meet shermin at her sin ming house!nuah-ed there for a while talking, cos it was raining and really really cold.decided to go to miss clarity cafe for some chocolate lovin' to make ourselves err, less depressed.haha.after that we had the idea to go visit cheeyong, and so we called and asked him if he was visitable.

went over to his place and played with ethan and emma.kids these days!toy cars and barbie dolls are replaced with wii lor.haha played tennis, bowling and baseball with ethan.he's real good.

he's only 5 years old by the way.

but nonetheless, he beat everyone else lor.matt, daniel me and shermin.yvonne ordered pizza for dinner, so ended up staying til nearly 11pm before we left.ali was kind enough to lend us her car and matt was kind enough to send us home.(: another ride home again!

work tmr!

2009-03-11T22:48:00.003+08:00

perhaps the only things that still keep me under the category of a typical teen are my ever changing mood swings and sudden bouts of emo-ness.

2009-03-10T00:38:00.003+08:00

woke up at 10.30 today!haha.meant to wake up at 10, but i nuah-ed in bed and contemplated on whether to go down to jurong point to get some photocopying done.i did in the end, although it was a lousy day to do anything cos it just rained and rained and rained.

oh and jp is a lousy place to go when its raining.seriously.much as i rave about how cool it is cos it was just renovated and so so huge, it has a seriously flawed design in terms of catering for a rainy day.tsk tsk.

driving final theory class tomorrow.SIGH.please don't let it be as boring at the basic theory ones.i'll just fall asleep laa.and please don't let it rain tmr either.i need to colloect the photocopying stuff.i don't wanna spend another 10bucks on cab fare :(

2009-03-08T23:04:00.002+08:00

it was 9.30am in corps today.YES SO EARLY!mmm met shermin on 52.had practice before service started.ananthiy came for service today!haha so cute la.hopefully more will come someday.(:

had leader's meeting after service.ended before 4pm!haha i think it's been the earliest record so far.emo-ed with mel in the audi playing emo christian songs on the piano til it was time to head down to gracehaven.haha.

i don't like the accoustics at gracehaven! :( cannot hear myself at all, but mark keeps insisting that i'm too loud.got upset :( haha but overall it was okay in the end la.it's quite an experience.a good one.(: had dinner there after the worship.haha the food's amazing i tell you.after eating the whole group of us cam-whored doing different stuff.i'll upload them once cheryl tags me on facebook haha.it was hilarious la.we found out that cheryl and minghui have the oldest looking faces, and that mengren looks like some guy from death note.

work tmr!feel kinda guilty, cos i didn't really do work on friday at all cos of results and everything.shall go and make it up tmr!

maybe i'll start saving smiles again. :D

2009-03-07T23:35:00.004+08:00

hello, okay shall update about my week!

let's start on thursday, cos i don't remember much of wednesday.haha oops.okay on thurs yurong and shermin came over to visit me at work!haha one of the many upsides to working at haven is that it's okay to just bring friends in.haha although sometimesquite random, but cos somehow everyone is connected somehow somewhere so no one's really afraid that one of the kids will run away with them or something.yup so anyway they came, and then they followed me around on my 'study rounds'.haha.they kinda got swamped at the girls section.yurong put her tutoring skills to use, and shermin found that she can't read chinese much.how to go china?!haha and she says one of the little boys looks like a mouse.ohh well.

met up with my brother after that, and then went to west coast plaza.haha so exciting right?ended up eating at the market, although west coast plaza has like alot of food for such a small place.and then waffles with ice cream.

okay, friday.met up with joel for breakfast at clementi.haha he actually took a bus down from hougang okay.he wanted to eat macs, so we went.but the macs at clementi is really small, so we ended up buying back and then he followed me to haven.haha yes, bringing random pple to work again.ate there, and then joel decided to be charitable since he had 2hours to kill.so we uh, revamped one of the rooms in the junior boys section.eh hard work okay!shift here shift there.then talked awhile before yurong came to find us.

after that i met up with my classmates to go back to ac for results.haha it's really cool to see everyone again.the guys that are in army already all look better actually haha.yup, got results.mmm i think i could have done better, but okay la i'm satisfied with it.enough to get into nus is fine with me.(:

went back to haven after that to go for staff appreciation dinner at someplace in novena.the event was...mmm.let's just say it's not quite my crowd and my taste in entertainment.haha.what really gets me is how they refuse to let me eat in peace!i mean, i go there for a dinner, i don't need to be entertained every minute and have someone talking or performing all the time.sigh.got a lift back from uncle bob after that.

today!got woken up at 8.30!!!by my dad, cos my mom went to work and so i had to go groccery shopping.went down to corps after that for gracehaven worship prac.haha i couldn't believe i was actually there at like 11.30 laa.on a typical saturday i'd still be sleeping.anyway, prac was done by 1pm, and then everyone had something to do, so matt decided to adopt me.we ordered food in to the sound room and watched fireproof from there.then guanyou yurong and alicia came to join us later.

had worship prac after that.it was okay la, i think everyone was kinda tired.got convinced to go to dezmand's house after prac, cos toa payoh is so far!didn't really stay very long though.later we all squeezed into joel's car and he dropped us off at corps.it was like guanyou, yurong, dora, shermin and me squashed at the backseat.mmm yup then took 52 with shermin and yurong home.

i'm home!

haha wow looong post.
i'm amazed at myself. :D

i think facebook is a strange thing.i don't understand how some pple can spend like HOURS on it.i mean, doesn't it get boring after awhile?haha maybe it's just because i don't go there and play games.i created a pet in some pet society thing.i never went back in after that.haha.it's like deja vu of my neopets account i created back once upon a time ten thousand years ago in pri school.

9.30am tmr!SIGH.
early early early early early...

2009-03-03T22:32:00.003+08:00

i've finally scolded someone today!

haha okay maybe its not exactly scold, more of like trying to talk sense.haha the key word here is trying.SIGH.i realise i'm not very good at rebuttals.haha.not the 'talk back' type of person i guess.okay i shall brush up on my rebuttal skills before confronting more pple haha.how can one go on and on and on about something is really beyond me.a guy whining.EEEEE.

met guanting and alvin at westmall today while meeting yurong and my brother for lunch.the most random thing and the randomest of people.haha they're dating and proud of it lol.

on the personality craze now:
1. i'm most like a strawberry
2. i'm a strawberry ice cream, sweet and genuine
3. i'm afraid of marriage - HAHA.
4. i can apparently make 68% of my crushes fall in love with me
5.

You Are White Chocolate

You are White Chocolate
You are sweet, caring, and truly very innocent.
Whether your naive ways are a bit of act or not, people like to take care of you.
You are a quiet flirt, and your power is often underestimated!

2009-03-02T23:31:00.003+08:00

hello!
been quite bored recently.haha yes work is still on, but there have been times during the day when i look around and be like, hmm what should i do now?haha okay don't tell my employers.

so have been doing personality tests online.haha yes so bo liao right?blame yurong.SHEEEEEP.between a horse and a sheep, you'll choose a sheep right?so cute and fluffy and comfy.but noooo, she laughed like crazy when i said i would save the sheep if the world was coming to an end.very funny meh.

shermin's not going away til another month!(: smiles smiles smiles.haha maybe it'll keep delaying until you eventually don't need to go friend!it's a SIGN.

RESULTS ON FRIDAY.i don't know what to feel.

read a couple of stuff online just now.don't know how to feel/react about that too.OHH WELL.haha i think i'm just in love with the idea of being in love.

i think i want to change my blogskin.i think it's too emo for my cute image. :D

yixuan:I UPDATE ABOUT MY LIFE LOR.haha see you at 12.grins.

2009-02-28T15:15:00.002+08:00

I've been hearing voices telling me that
I could never be what I wanna be
They're binding me with lies
Haunting me at night
And saying there's nothing to believe
Somewhere in the quietness
I'm overcome with loneliness
I hear You call my name
Like a father You are near
And as I listen I can hear You say

You are a child of Mine
Born of My own design
And you bear the heart of life
No matter where you go
Oh, you will always know
You have been made free in Christ
You are a child of Mine

And so I listen as You tell me who I am
And who it is I'm gonna be
And I hang on every word
Knowing I have heard
I am Yours and I am free
But when I am alone at night
That is when I hear the lie:
You'll never be enough
And though I'm giving into fear
If I listen I can hear You say

-You are a child of Mine by Mark Schultz

2009-02-28T00:28:00.002+08:00

Covered by Your love divine
Child of the Risen Lord
To hear You say, "This one's mine."
My heart is spoken for

don't you just love this song?haha i love it cos it's so...assuring.like.imagine the creator of the chair you're sitting on, the music you're listening to, the brains that you were given, the food that you eat, the air that you breathe, everything.yup imagine he says to your enemy, "don't you dare touch her/him, she/he is MINE."so cool right.with Him on your side, who can be against you?

haha and if you know me, i'm all about feeling secure and assured.i'm a fragile, not so little thing that needs constant assurance and knowledge that everything is okay.

2009-02-25T23:46:00.002+08:00

ate mel's "happy v day!" chocolates.feeling loads better.(:

i'm a pig.
who was a soft spot for chocolates.
sweeeeeeeeet chocolates.

:D

oh oh oh i passed my ftt evaluation!wasn't that hard after all.

2009-02-25T22:34:00.003+08:00

i think i'm abnormal.

i'm not into what a seemingly typical youth shld be.like drinking and clubbing and shopping and drinking coffee and being at home only to sleep.i honestly don't think that even stuff like consuming alcoholic drinks and all are going to be hard for me to abstain from in the future.maybe i'm too naive and i haven't grown up yet.people say you'll grow up in secondary school.my mom said you'll mature in jc.but i've been in and out of both, and i still think i'm the same.maybe i'm just too guai.i seriously think guys get scared when they find out that i'm not into drinking and clubbing and shopping and everything else.i don't even drink coffee!maybe i'm just different.

maybe i'm just abnormal.
sigh.

okay sorry for that emo and "who am i?" paragraph.today was the most trying day of my working life so far.i went down to jurong point to get stuff photocopied and binded, and i kinda got lost in that place.it's renovated and really huge by the way, shld go check it out.so anyway, the lady told me to come back in an hour, so i wandered around looking for popular, my new best friend.bought a couple of assessment books and then went back.one hour turned out to be one and a half, so i was seriously late for work already.collected the stuff and took a cab.the driver was telling me about how i shld say go to aye and turn off clementi road and not south bouna vista road, cos that will mean travelling one big round to get to pasir panjang road.then he went on to say how singapore is such a fine country, and that singaporeans will not be scared until they get fined and feel the pinch.typical cynical cab driver i guess.

anyway, the day was still redeemable.there was no tuition to plan for, cos all the nus students were on exam study break.it actually got better, until at night, where generous me decided to do group tuition for the p6 kids.i thought that they would be angels today like yesterday, but ohhh no.long story short, it was a failure.i think i've been bullied by kids already.

how do you be firm with people?i don't think i can.i think i'm like a yes woman.i can't go like, no i'm not submitting to your demands.usually i ignore, but i think it makes situations worse.cos if you don't correct, the kid will think it's okay, or worse, know that you can't be firm and scold.

i don't think i take failures very well.i think it's a problem.

:(

2009-02-23T23:39:00.004+08:00

on saturday morning my mom asked me if i was going out today, and i said no.

my dad laughed and went, "you have no life!"

sigh.and i thought i was being a good girl.

anyway, i baked on saturday afternoon.cos i have no life and i was really bored.so i made chocolate shortbread with cut out shapes and icing.yes, and i'm satisfied with my products.no burnt batches this time!

on sunday there was soldiership class and after that, david yurong guanyou and i jammed in the audi and made alot of noise.haha.but it was really fun and really cool though.to like just play and sing and do whatever you want.after awhile we all kinda gave up playing, so guanyou played and we just sang.haha and then we tried to harmonise and decorate the song, until we couldn't remember what the melody was anymore.after that we went to graceheaven and sat in for their worship session.it was really enjoyable.so was the food after that.ha.

went for theory practice before work today.sigh.i keep failing the practice papers.and evaluation's on wed.please please please let me pass.the person behind me kept killing his screen.poke poke poke.so distracting.i realise i actually can't wait to get behind the wheel.haha.although i much rather have someone to drive me around.i want to pass on my first time!

2009-02-16T22:46:00.002+08:00

Hello.okay yixuan tagged me on facebook err.quite long ago.haha oops.but anyway i'm doing it now!haha it's quite hilarious actually.go try!(:

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

4. Tag 10 or more friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got it from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Everything I Do (I Do For You) - Bryan Adams

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Cry - Mandy Moore

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Lucky - Britney Spears

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Lose Myself - Jeff Deyo

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Lord Of All - Hillsong London

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
My Redeemer Lives - Hillsong

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Firefly - A*Teens

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Joy To The World - Jump5

WHAT IS 2+2?
Cinderella - Steven Curtis Chapman

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
In Christ Alone - Brian Littrell

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Because You Live - Jesse McCartney

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Diamond - Jump5

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
The Reason - Hoobastank

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
When You Look Me In The Eyes - Jonas Brothers

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
I Believe - Hillsong

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Pressure - Jump5

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Tonight - Westlife

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Nothing But The Blood - Hillsong United

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Forever In My Heart - Jump5

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Whenever You Remember - Carrie Underwood

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Someday - Eternal

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Can't Stop Praising - Hillsong

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
I'm Not Ashamed - Hillsong

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
On My Way - Phil Collins

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Ever Ever After - Carrie Underwood

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
I Love Rock N Roll - Britney Spears

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Wordplay - Jason Mraz

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Reinforce Love - Lee Ryan

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
It's Not Me - Lee Ryan

2009-02-15T23:46:00.002+08:00

As we purpose to obey You
And to walk in all Your ways
Lord, in every situation
We bring the sacrifice of praise

2009-02-14T21:25:00.003+08:00

He's able, He's able
I know He's able
I know my Lord is able to carry me through

He heals the broken-hearted
And sets the captives free
He makes the lame to walk again
And cause the blind to see

i think i've learnt alot this year.although it's only been two months.i've learnt that not everyone has a beautiful life like i do, that despite everything, singapore is a hugely meritocratic country.which kinda throws equality out of the window.haha remainds me of gp lesson with lisa li.yup, i've come to realise that life is not fair, you kinda take what you get, and make the most out of it.i've also realised that there are kids ten years younger than me who have to wash their clothes, wash their shoes, wash the toilet...all on their own, whereas i'm fortunate (and pampered) enough to not make my own bed.that kids my age are facing a life with bleak futures, but still facing it with a smile.kids that have to study and balance their finances and take care of themselves, while i only need to worry if my results can get me into nus.

i've also learnt that life is really fragile.that old people are not the only ones to leave this earth.people across all ages die all over the world.and all for different reasons.you may read it in some newspaper of magazine, and go like, yeah okay.but you'll never imagine someone you actually knew going that way.it's the fourth night, but i really, honestly, believe, with all of my heart, that he'll awake.maybe that's why i havent broken down, or seriously cried yet.maybe i'm heartless, but in my hearts of hearts, i really do believe everything is going to work out.yes, because He is able.

2009-02-04T22:24:00.002+08:00

hi.mentally and physically tired.haha.yes, i love my job.but when you reach home and sink into bed then you realise how tired you are.although i don't know why it is so draining either.

went shopping at popular today.spent like an hour in there flipping through assessment books.then spent like 10mins going in circles trying to find "nice-nice" stickers.the total was two hundred over bucks for like 25 books and 3 sheets of stickers!haha.lugged them all like an auntie and took a bus to work.it's round two on friday, because the new stock of books will be in then.how did i know?cos the auntie me went to ask.actually, i was looking for normal tech syllabus stuff.it's amazing how much stuff there is for express students, and normal academic students even.but the poor normal tech kids have hardly any assessment and enrichment books for them.which doesn't make sense, i mean it's because they are weak that's why we need assessment to help them right?but yes, i know economics, and because people think that normal tech kids probably won't bother to buy, so there won't be a demand, but the express and special stream kids are probably kiasu and so will buying every single thing on the shelf.so anyway, this kind staff pointed me to the bottom shelf, which was like only 3/4-full.she explained only EPB publishing bothers to publish books for the normal tech kids.and even then, only english and maths assessment are published.

it's really sad actually.the kids in the home that are in sec school are mostly in the normal tech stream, those in primary sch are either doing foundation subjects, or are waaay behind in their level.you want to help them, but helping each of them takes up time and focused attention.like one-on-one tuition everyday.and this is a luxury we don't have.everyday i'm given about one-half to two hours to go around all four sections during their study time.that's like 30 kids demanding attention.but you can't spend too long on one person, because there's simply no time.so i can't help them individaully, and assessment books and other help cannot be found for them, how are they ever going to break out of this cycle?i was talking with aunty soohong over dinner, and she said that for these kids, going to ITE is something to celebrate about, much less poly or jc.most of them end up having to find a job after their N levels, and out of the home they go, she says.because by then they'll be above 18.how are these kids ever going to find a stable job, stable income, have a future?

this is so depressing.
i think i need to be fiercer.

2009-02-01T23:29:00.003+08:00

hello!
i'm too lazy to blog, but i have been hearing this song repeatedly over the past few weeks, so i just feel like i need to post its lyrics up.i don't know what it means yet, but it'll come to me.meanwhile, maybe there is someone out there who might happen to stumble upon my blog and find hope or a reminder from the lyrics.so yup, this is for you.

~~err.would anyone happen to know who was the original artiste of this song?haha there's too many versions and too many different pple who have done this song.~~

Over the mountains and the seas
Your river runs with love for me
And I will open up my heart and let
The Healer set me free
I'm happy to be in the truth
And I will daily lift my hands
For I will always sing
Of when Your love came down

I could sing of Your love forever
I could sing of Your love forever
I could sing of Your love forever
I could sing of Your love forever

Oh I feel like dancing
It's foolishness I know
But when the world has seen the light
They will dance with joy
Like we're dancing now

- I could sing of Your love forever by Delirious?

2009-01-31T14:50:00.002+08:00

hello!

3 days of work done.haha it's been good.the kids seem to listen to me and like me, so yup that's good.haha although maybe it's cos i'm new, so there's this novelty of calling "jie jie rachel!" and then telling me all their stories.or maybe i'm already being bullied and i don't even know it.haha.i pray they'll remain like this though.this i can handle.(: met with my first rebellious kid today though.he refused to do work, claiming he doesn't know how to do and everything.i was like, oh no how.haha i'm not the fiercest and strictest person in the world.but in the end he submitted and sat down to do work.haha thank God.

Getting to know the kids better.discovered alot of relations in the home.like so and so are siblings and stuff like that.haha never thought that there'll be so much work though.but somehow the time just goes.in the morning i'm preparing work for them, noting who has spelling when, who has tests, who doesn't like to do what, etc etc.and then during lunch i'll sit with them, asking how's school, what exciting things happened, being their friend.after lunch is their study sessions, and this is where time flies.and then before i know it, it's like 6pm.

mmm from this past 3 days, i've learnt that all kids like and want attention.you listen to them and appear really interested in all that they say, and they'll be your best friend for the day.haha and it helps if you remember important things, and ask them how it went.like if someone was sick, or had a test or spelling.haha but sometimes they'll get so caught up with their stories that they won't let you go.it's quite sad though, to see these kids and know that circumstances have put them there.and because of that, they have no interest in studies because everything seems beyond them.i don't think it's because they are stupid, cos if you throw them out on the streets they'll probably survive.

anyway, yesterday most of them got to go home for the weekend.it's quite cute to see the little ones carry their bags, bathed and changed, and excited.haha i guess its some form of freedom at last.

tuition nights start next week on monday, and i still have lots of work to do!haha, i actually do look forward to going to work.i'm doing work that is admin-based, and at the same time, interacting with kids.haha.we did this spiritual gifts survey thing during cell, and i'm gifted in service and admin.haha, i rest my case.

2009-01-28T21:22:00.002+08:00

hello.
started work today.it was okay haha.the time seems to fly by in the afternoon.there seems to be so much to do!haha but it's alright la.might even be fun.(:

just did the personality test from yurong's blog:

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

2009-01-23T17:56:00.007+08:00

RACHEL! MUAHAH. - Yurong.

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be ?

haha what lover?

#2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be ?
mmm they vary from time to time.right now, it'll be to doing like super-ly, duper-ly, outstanding-ly well for A's.

3. What will your dream wedding be like ?
pretty in Fullerton.and no one wears black.

#5. What's your ideal lover like ?
i could go on forever.committed and in love with me will do for now.

#6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone ?
mmm i don't know.i think both are equally blessed.haha but for entirely selfish reasons, i'd rather be loved.unrequited love is not cool.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone u really love ?
haha i don't know.how do i know if i really love someone too?

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do ?

smile.(: and discreetly avoid them as much as possible until it's nothing.

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days ?
yes there was this moth in my room that keep flapping its wings throughout the night.i got disrupted sleep. :(

#10.What do you want most in life ?
happy happy happy!

#11. Is being tagged fun ?
fun?no.slightly entertaining...yeah.

#12. How do you see yourself in ten years time ?
married with a kid/kid on the way.hahahaha coming from someone who's currently unattached.

#13. Who is the current most important person to you ?
right right now?my dad/mom.cos i'm hoping they'll fetch me to corps later.grins.

#14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is ?
yurong is really small, who's room is constantly a work in progress, and loves elmo!

#15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor ?
haha this is like one of those love or career questions.i'd rather be married and poor.haha then my husband can support me!

#16. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be ?
errrrrrrrr.probably a fish, cosit won't get emotionally attached to you, and you can just feed it once a day or something, and not care about it anymore.haha, sorry not big fans of animals.

17. What are one of those things which you would prefer not to do ?
wake up early early early in the morning.like 6.30am early.

#18. What kind of person do u think u are ?
i am guai and sweet and cute!(:

#19. What do you define as a bad day ?
when the day is bad.haha duh.

#20. If you have to choose between love (as in boy-girl relationships) and friendship, what would it be ?
aha both!my boyfriend has to be my friend yes?

My next targets are:

i wanted to tag shermin and mel, but they don't have tagboards!grr.friends if you read this you better do!haha.and err, for whoever that's really bored.haha its slightly entertaining.(:

2009-01-23T00:52:00.002+08:00

hello!
i'm blogging cos msn refuses to sign me in! :( it says i'm not connected to the net, but that's stupid cos if i'm not then how can i be blogging?grr.

watched another cinderella story online last night.haha it really is another cinderella story.very chick-lit, but i felt the whole thing wasn't very well written.but selena gomez is cute though.haha she's only 16, and the guy that plays prince charming is like 26?

went out today!haha no more a bummer.went over to yurong's place where kat picked us and then joel and then we went to holland to meet daniel.haha like going back to school.yup then we went ikea, walked around, and then went to east coast.they were excavating the sand or something, so didn't get to go down to the beach.later picked up shermin and david, so there was like 4 of us squashed in the backseat of kat's car.haha after band there was more squashing with 5 pple in the backseat of mat's car.squishy squashy.

it was catch up week this week.haha i got to talk to pple on msn that i haven't been talking to for a long long long time.i kinda all started with bryan about two weeks ago.i think we talked about golden globes.haha i seriously need to meet you for lunch soon friend.you're becoming a stranger!then on monday vincent said hi, and while talking to him i suddenly had the talk-to-random-pple mood, so said hi to jethro.mmm ended up talking about his school and youths in church.tuesday charlene came desperate for chem help.haha acids and buffers!eee.don't like that chapter.haha i think i confused her alot with all the terms.but anyway i'm proud of you girl!you've really changed.(: haha more determined and focused.mmm and then last night deborah came online and asked if i was attached.hahahaha i wish.

2009-01-21T00:27:00.002+08:00

i think i'm a very guai person.okay maybe not guai, but more like...naive.in the, i-have-no-idea-how-makeup-and-cosmetics-work naive.i-have-no-sense-of-fashion naive.haha.and i'm really trusting.in the, i-trust-that-the-aunty-in-the-shop-won't-run-away-with-my-money kind of trusting.haha.i don't drink, i've never touched alcohol before, i don't do parties, clubbing, i don't even watch movies often.haha i think this 'guai-ness' scares guys away.jethro doesn't think so, but oh well.oh i talked with jethro on msn last night.haha i was in a let's-talk-to-random-pple! mood, and he just happened to come online.it was good, although i think we still have alot to catch up.haha i think i should start doing that with all the dunearn pple that i haven't talked to since...forever.

2009-01-18T21:41:00.002+08:00

hello!i'm blogging cos i'm totally bored and have nothing to do :(
i've been doing some serious bumming around the past week.if there was some award for laziness, i'd win it.i've been sleeping at 2am, waking up at 12noon, then taking a nap again at 5pm.haha sorry to all of you that have school or work!i've been doing totally irrelevant stuff like watching old blue interviews/performances on youtube, i've watched high school musical twice, step up and the prince and me.haha.

oh i did some baking the past two days.on friday i attempted to do macaroons again, but i burnt the first 2 batches! :( seriously, i think my oven is throwing a tantrum and is angry.i put in the macaroons for like 5mins and they burnt.the last batch made it through, but they were FLAT!sigh.on saturday my mom replenished the baking stuff, so i made chocolate chip cupcakes.they rose, but the top part got burnt too.it's crazy!the temperature was only 150degrees, and it wasn't even direct heating.grr.the oven really really doesn't like me anymore.but anyway they were still edible.and quite dense though.more like muffins than cupcakes.

okay my baking failures aside, i went shopping with my mom on saturday night!went to causeway point, haven't been there since like forever.haha.used to go there when in dunearn, when we had alot of time and could afford to go further than westmall, lot one and plaza.

jammed with guanyou mark and aaron after lunch today.haha i realised jamming can be quite addictive.like, once you start and got rolling, you just wanna keep going on and on.though i think my keyboard skills are like, non-existent.haha.was kinda playing rubbish and getting chords wrong.but it's okay, i'll pick it up fast!mmm, i know it's wrong, but i feel more like, wanted and needed playing an instrument as compared to singing.haha i know it's not true, but it always seems like singers are dispensable.oh well.

i wanna learn how to waltz!haha.seeing the rooftop scene on high school musical 3...it's so sweet and romantic.

2009-01-11T21:55:00.002+08:00

i'm a person that's very easily affected by my surroundings.not in the nature-ish sort of way, but more of like, feelings and emotions.like, i'll be upset even when the situation has nothing to do with me, and similarily for being happy.i'm emotional and a thinker.which most of the time isn't good, cos i'll be thinking too much about certain things, which gets me all emotional and worked up.even wheni really really really don't want it to.oh and i'm a crier.i cry super easily.even when again,it has nothing to do with me.those traitor tears.

anyway i'm not complaining.i'm a worshipper!(: haha.God gave me these uh, characteristics and traits for some huge plan He has which need this side of me.so yup, while it may seem like really irritating characteristics of myself, it'll work out.

2009-01-10T00:06:00.005+08:00

my first post of 2oo9!
oh, happy new year to all of you by the way.haha haven't really got the time/mood to update so yup, i'm posting my reflections of 2oo8/thoughts for 2oo9 on err, 10th jan.oops.

2oo8 has been a good year.haha this is just typical of me actually.you ask me anything and i'll only remember the good parts.optimist to a certain extent.mmm but yeah, haha 2oo8 is summed up with one letter: A's.for one year it seemed like my life was nothing but studying.there was alot of band too, mmm...swiss trip being the highlight of the year haha.my first overseas trip alone without family.

mmm 2oo8 also brought about other stuff that i struggled with/constantly kept thinkng about.but along it came friends that God gave me, mainly shermin and mel (happy 3 friends! haha) whom i could just call in the middle of the night and whine about anything and everything; ac trombone pple, my ac family; yixuan and joan, my lifeline and source of motivation in class.yup but 2oo8 also allowed me to grow closer/talk more to pple: yurong for one, under certain circumstances.grins.haha, more pillow talks?my old cell, amelia mengren minghui cedric in the 'cosy' servery, how did we even end up there i have no idea.my current cell, mainly through camp, which i thought was great and really answered my prayer on how to integrate the group.joel, haha i think us supporting each other through A's and army kinda works.aaron, through the weekly after-sunday-service lunches, kfc? haha.mark, although our conversations are mainly confined to msn, which usually end up with me sleeping or watching movies online, haha oops.

but yeah, all in all 2oo8 was good.(:

in 2oo9, i want to trust God.
specifically, with my life and the decisions that come along.
even more specifically, i want to trust Him with my results and the plan that He has for me.i don't know where i'll be going, what i'll be doing, but i want to trust that He knows and i will know in due time.
i want to trust Him with my friendships and relationships.that He'll be the Lord of it all.
i trust that He'll teach me and lead me to be a good leader, faithful disciple and earnest worshipper.

This is what the Lord says to you: Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army, for the battle is not yours, but God's.
-2 Chronicles 20:15b

Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You

2008-12-26T13:57:00.002+08:00

hello just came back twilight-ing with yurong.it gave me the inspiration and motivation to start reading the book! haha yes, i'm still leaving on a jet plane.in like, 6 hours.anyway i'm here now cos i just wanted to post hillsong's Believe lyrics.i was listening to it before i slept last night and i felt compelled to post it so, yup here it is.

ta-ta again.(:

I say on Sunday how much I want revival
But then on Monday, I can’t even find my Bible
Where’s the power
The power of the cross in my life

I’m sick of playing the game of religion
I’m tired of losing my reason for living
Where’s the power
The power of the cross in my life

I’m not content just to walk through my life, giving in
To the lies, Walking in compromises now
We cry out as a generation that was lost
But now is found in the power of the cross

We believe in You
We believe in the power of Your Word that is true
We believe in You
So we lay down our cause
That our cross might be found in You

I’m not satisfied doing it my own way
I’m not satisfied to do church and walk away
I’m not satisfied there’s no love in my life but You
I’m not satisfied living in yesterday’s hour
I’m not satisfied to have the form but not the power
I’m not satisfied, Lord I am crucified in You

- Believe by hillsongs

2008-12-26T00:43:00.002+08:00

happy happy christmas to one and all!
mmm it's past midnight, so technically it shld be happy boxing day.haha oh well.

okay i'll be leaving on a jet plane like, later on in the day.haha tiger airways is a small budget plane yes?going to bangkok for shopping!i really need a new wardrobe!

okay ta-ta, i'll be back for new years.(:

2008-12-21T23:15:00.004+08:00

hello!
back from camp.it was good.(: haha i felt that this camp was really different from what i remembered my last camp to be.there's like this satisfied and content feeling after the camp, which doesn't usually happen especially when you're a leader or organising the event or something.so yup, got alot to thank God for that happened during this camp.

1. SALVATIONS!(: haha i'm really really excited and happy.if even angels in heaven rejoice when a soul is saved, what more we as humans?

2. sessions and teachings which i could really relate and learn alot from.and i love that everything said is backed up by references.haha i have trust issues.

3. prayer sessions.to be prayed for, and praying for others, it felt good.for the lack of a better word.haha.

4. group bonding.haha initially this was my biggest concern.3 new pple, plus 3 quiet pple...haha.seeing them all sit in a circle and talk and bond on the 3rd day...i think that in itself was God's miracle, cos there was only so much i could do and did.and this really helps alot in future too.the ice has melted.(:

5. weather.if you remember, it rained through the weekend and monday.but from tues to friday...ta-dah, no rain!

My soul finds rest in You, my Jesus
My hiding place amidst the storm
In pastures green
You lead me down to lie
By waters still I shall abide
By waters still I shall abide

I shall not fear in times uncertain
I shall not look to my own strength
Into Your hands
I place my hopes and plans
My trust is in the blood of the Lamb
My trust is in the blood of the Lamb

A crown of thorns pierced through Your temple
The blood that flowed took all my cares
What price You paid
What sacrifice You made
My life in Yours, Jesus my rest
My life in Yours, Jesus my rest

- My Rest by New Creation Church

2008-12-13T01:32:00.003+08:00

A life goes by
Romantic dreams must die
So I bid mine goodbye

emo emo song.
maybe sometimes it's good to live in your own bubble world.where everything seems to be perfect and simple and straightforward.everyone says to tell the truth.but they don't tell you how much it will hurt.

haha kinda delayed reaction.i think it's the holidays that somehow make things even more depressing and upsetting.that, together with an emo song on the ipod.sigh.

So close to reaching that famous happy ending
Almost believing: this one's not pretend
Let's go on dreaming, though we know we are
So close and still, so far

2008-12-11T00:40:00.003+08:00

hello.in view of people complaining that i don't update my blog, i shall update now.(: okay lots have been happening since uh,17 nov.i'll blog what i can remember.

22 nov, saturday.went down to east coast with shermin mel and mengren for cycling.we met at 10am at junction 8 cos dear mel wanted to have kfc breakfast, but guess what, there was NO KFC BREAKFAST at that outlet.rah.ended up at subway and waited for mengren to end his piano lesson or something before heading to the far far east.haha shermin needed to do a painting for her art module, so we spent awhile on the bedok jetty while she attempted to draw coconut trees and ships and birds.in the end it turned out quite alright i think haha.did like 2 hours of cycling before going for dinner with shermin.

27 nov,thursday.went down to east coast again, this time to surprise soomin with a birthday picnic.really belated haha but oh well.it turned out to be only eugene, shaun, michelle and me together with her cousins.but it was all right i guess haha.an assortment of really random food.quite inpromptu, but it was fun.

28 nov,friday.yurong and shermin came over to hang out.shermin was supposed to be studying, but we all ended up watching the sound of music on LD.haha really old school.then we went to cell after that.

1 dec,monday.met up with the section to go night safari.wen hui and wen ting joined us too, so it was good.mmm saw lots and lots of animals.haha duh.the stuff there are absolute rip offs though.fancy 4 bucks for a bottle of coke?

3 dec,wednesday.SWIMMING!haha met shermin to go to yurong's place to use her pool.kat came and joined us too so it was cool.haven't been swimming for a really really really long time.tired after like 2 laps haha.and there was this bunch of guys playing like catching in the pool.so we were like nomads moving around the pool to get out of their way and vice versa.went to westmall to get stuff for dinner after that.haha made carbonara which kat said was really easy to make.hmmmm.we first cut out the fat from the bacon cos we thought it'll be healthier.then we realised that the pasta would be really dry cos the oil comes from the fat.and then we cracked an egg at the end and then cos it was too hot the egg cooked instead.haha oh well we always learn better by experience yes.

5 dec,friday.games day at bishan park.haha it was fun.we played captain's ball, then what's the time mr wolf.haha really cute game, used to play when i was a kid.haha so much for ultimate frisbee and other bunch of games.after that we went back tp corps and played hide and seek in the building.haha that was really fun, with the lights off and everything.

7 dec, sunday.yurong came and stayed over.stayed up at night to play risk and monopoly.haha yurong and i reached a treaty to have half the world each after we vanquished david from the map.yeah girls rock.(; yurong may be the ultimate general when it comes to battlefield, but was a total flop at real estate, haha.later we stayed up til really late in bed talking about alot of stuff, some random some really deep.haha but it was good really.don't worry, i'm a big girl, i'm okay.(:

YESTERDAY.met michelle to go down and sign up for driving, but realised i didn't bring my ic.haha really dumb.ended up going back to lot one and walking around awhile with her before fetching andrew from class.

TODAY.met up with yurong for breakfast.haha it was nearly a failed attempt number two, but i arrived like at 10.40 and she cabbed down.haha so we could finally have kfc breakfast.expensive waffles yeah haha.after that we went to the post office.haha did you know that the air mail sticker is not a stamp?haha i thought that it covered the postage costs la.anyway they're having a christmas offer, half price of 55cents for card mail to new york, so if you have anything to send quick do it now.yup later we went down to the driving centre so that i could register and sign up.so yeah everything went smoothly this time and then had to attend a compulsory briefing.that was entertaining haha.
went to yurong's place for awhile.i planned for worship while she cleaned the house and washed clothes.so domestic eh haha.she helped me with the planning after that and then we left for wisma for kettling.we reached at like 5.15 haha oops.but mel was there with ali and mat so it was still okay haha.stood there and ring ring ring the bell, gave out calendars and sang christmas songs.haha couldn't complete the 12 days of christmas song.when we were done we went walking abt taka for awhile, before heading to paragon for dinner.

haha there's alot more to these events than what i just wrote la, but it's like 1.40am and i'm half awake haha.so yeah maybe i'll elaborate more another day.just MAYBE.(:

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Three French hens, two turtle doves
And a partridge in a pear tree

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Four calling birds, three French hens,
Two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Five golden rings
Four calling birds, three French hens,
Two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Six geese a laying, five golden rings,
Four calling birds, three French hens,
Two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Seven swans a swimming,
Six geese a laying, five golden rings,
Four calling birds, three French hens,
Two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eight maids a milking, seven swans a swimming,
Six geese a laying, five golden rings,
Four calling birds, three French hens,
Two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a milking, seven swans a swimming,
Six geese a laying, five golden rings,
Four calling birds, three French hens,
Two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Ten lords a leaping, nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a milking, seven swans a swimming,
Six geese a laying, five golden rings,
Four calling birds, three French hens,
Two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a leaping, nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a milking, seven swans a swimming,
Six geese a laying, five golden rings,
Four calling birds, three French hens,
Two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a leaping, nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a milking, seven swans a swimming,
Six geese a laying, five golden rings,
Four calling birds, three French hens,
Two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree

christmas is coming!(: (: (:

2008-11-16T22:45:00.004+08:00

hello!it's gonna be a long post.haha, yay!
i'm back after a study hiatus.A levels is the most disgusting exam ever.actually i honestly cannot remember anything of it anymore, although i ended like just 3 days ago.mmm would that be a good thing?

FRIDAY.met shermin after my paper.we ate ice cream at macs while waiting for mr clarence chong, who ended up ps-ing us cos he was probably too nuah to move from his sleep at the library.LOUSY!!!haha.so we bus-ed down to meet mel at j8 for dinner.

SATURDAY.i woke up at an impressive 8.30AM!!!actually my mom woke me, cos the night before i was like, "i wanna go grocery shopping with you tmr!"
later we went for a family lunch at mandai for my grandmother's birthday.it was cool.walked around looking at orchids after that, and there were like 3 really huge and harmless dogs roaming around.
i went home and fell asleep after lunch.and then when i woke up it was like 6.15pm.i was like, oh no oh no, cos i had worship prac at 6.30pm, all the way at BISHAN.haha so it was like, "please mommy send me there?" haha i have cool parents.(:

SUNDAY.it's a SHERMIN day!went for lunch at thompson plaza with her, joel, aaron, mark and adriel.
MEL PS-ED US FOR ANOTHER A LEVEL FRIEND.hmph.
anyway, it's a shermin day today so yes shermin, you get a long long paragraph.(: we followed aaron to his weekly visit to fairprice and got tempted by chocolate, giant pocky and yan yan haha.later we went to ya kun where aaron educated us on what was a tim-tam slam.it's really good actually.haha all the chocolate melting on your fingers.we sat there and talked about life and stuff for a while before we left.went to shermin's place to help her with her art.she was supposed to do some cast thing of a body part with plaster of paris.haha sounds really cool yeah, but it's really difficult.haha we made like ten thousand failed casts that never wanted to dry.it was so time-consuming!we were like going to give up already but decided to give it one last shot and guess what, it worked.the lousy thing took less than 5mins to dry and harden.amazing.so yup, shermin now has a cool mould of my left hand.haha you'll definitely get 10 out of 10 shermin!

aaron came over in the midst of our art creation and he fed us with pocky and educated us from wikipedia.apparently zouk is a form of musical style or something.haha well i guess we learn something new everyday.after our successful hand cast we decided to go down to the west for dinner.called yurong and then ended up with david and peirong too.ate at seven mile the bukit timah market.good food.haha i think yurong was really satisfied.
spent alot of time catching up with shermin!MEL, WHEN WILL IT BE YOUR TURN? haha they're my buddies for my lose-weight programme!i aim to do like at least one physical activity per week.i'm hoping that my running around would lose weight naturally.haha hoping la.

it's the time of the year again!it's time for my end of year to-do list!this time i have like 8 months to finish my list, so yeah here it is, in no particular order.

RACHEL'S AMBITIOUS TO-DO LIST:

1. Clear out my desk/clean my room.haha i actually have a deadline for this.i plan to get this done by the end of the month.
2. Fly a kite.mmm i think this was in last year's list.and in the year before.oh well.
3. Have a sleepover!haha mel and shermin, when shermin's done with exams!maybe yurong too?haha you can always go home at 5am.that's like more than half the sleepover.
4. Build a proper sandcastle.i finally built my sandcastle last year, but it was like just 2 rectangles stacked on top another.i want to built one real one, with like all the shapes and everything.
5. Section dinner/outing/anything.NIGHT SAFARI!haha yeah i know i've been talking abt this since every holiday we've had, but we can really go this time.REALLY.when?
6. Get a boyfriend.haha this will probably take more than 8 months, depending on availability and compatibility and etc etc.oh well, i already said it's my AMBITIOUS to-do list.
7. Night cycling.BONES!!!haha we could do pasir ris to bedok again.
8. Swimming.part of my lose-weight programme haha.
9. Catch up with the clique pple.self-explanatory yeah.MISS YOU GUYS!!!
10. Find a job.probably next year, before i get too bored at home.preferably working with kids, some 9 to 3 job or something that an A level graduate can do.although technically, my highest academic qualification would be O's wouldn't it?

i've actually spent the last 2 hours on this post!i'm seriously out of touch with the com and blogging.
and i'm tired.
and pple don't wanna reply me :(

okay i shall continue with my to-do list another day.
ohh i've taken a liking to lee ryan's songs.haha i love his voice!

You're my past, my future
My all, my everything
My six in the morning when the clock rings
And I open up my eyes to a new day
My last, my first
My ups, my downs
It's the feeling that you get when you know something is true
When I think of love, I think of you

-When I Think Of Love by Lee Ryan.

2008-10-19T00:34:00.003+08:00

And I will rise on wings of eagles
Soaring high above all my fears
I rest in Your open arms of love

hey thanks for all your encouragement friends.makes my day!haha.greatly appreciated.(:
4 more weeks to freedom.14th november, here i come!

2008-09-20T22:39:00.003+08:00

i can't do differential equations.actually, i can't do maths at all.or chem, for that matter.plus, i'm getting fatter.and fatter.sleepier and sleepier.

and my life now can be summed up in one word: STUDY.
or rather, an ATTEMPT to study.

it's so depressing. :(

2008-09-14T01:39:00.002+08:00

what happened to the man that met with an accident?
he died.

what happened to the woman?
she died.

what happened to the dog?
it barked.

cedric told us this joke during cell yesterday.he's a laugh.and yeah, the joke doesn't look funny here, but the way he said it was hilarious.except mengren who was like, what's so funny?

i'm waiting for prince and me to load.i'm in the chick-flick/lovey-storyline mood today.

i've decided to become a hermit as of today.for the next 6-7 weeks.i was bugging manfred with chem questions today and he was like, what you hardcore studying already?haha truth be told, i woke up at 11am and had a 2-hour afternoon nap.i'm not that super.

i think my computer has a mild virus.maybe it has the flu.

i've updated my links!